Mass Effect: Complication
by Sigyn2011
Summary: Occurs just after the events of Arrival DLC and before ME3. What would happen if the Normandy SR-2 were grounded for reasons beyond the crew's control? This is an homage to the famous "Trouble With Tribbles" episode from the Original Star Trek series. If you like to laugh and enjoy a halfway decent story in between Shepard and Miranda, this might be up your alley.
1. Chapter 1

** Author's Notes:**

Summary: Occurs after events of "Vindication". Remember the good old Star Trek episode called "The Trouble with Tribbles?" This is an homage to that episode, set in the Mass Effect universe with the ME 2 crew. Shepard is no James T. Kirk, but he sure does get a lot of ladies. If you haven't seen it, let's just say that the Normandy gets into trouble whilst visiting the Citadel one day.

I have finessed some rough patches that I did not catch the first time I wrote this novel and have added some extra material. For those of you who have read this before, it is not quite the same story. For those of you who were reading it when I removed the novel, I must sincerely apologize, but I did put that information on my profile last week.

Since Miranda and Shepard didn't get as much action in "Vindication", I figured that it was time for them to get some more scenes together. This story does involve quite a bit of the ME2 crew as stated in the summary, but for those of you who want more, there is definitely more in this story since it's a lot more light-hearted than my usual writing (with the exception of one chapter). For those of you who don't like her, well…my apologies. You have been warned.

Mass Effect: Complication

Chapter One

Normandy CIC, Orbit of Illium, Crescent Nebula, 2185, 1209h

Refueling the Normandy was normally a quick process, but Joker was exceptionally talkative today. His social skills and manners were better than the typical krogan, and he did actually make an effort on this mission to be a tad more companionable, especially after the Collectors abducted his fellow crewmen. Hadley, Matthews, he, and Shepard ended up in a very animated chat regarding baseball as they listened to a game on the extranet. Very few of the human colonies had teams that played professionally, but the rivalry between the Lowell City Jays and the Scott Frees was legendary.

"I hope that the Frees can their pitcher for clobbering Bo Jackson in the head like that," Joker seethed during a commercial.

"Those announcers always exaggerate everything, Joker," Matthews argued. "He'll be back in the season before it's over, don't worry."

"Maybe it's time for him to retire anyway," Shepard remarked. "I don't think he's worth the amount that he asks from the Scott Frees...not anymore, at least."

"Because he's a DH?" Joker demanded. "There are still _plenty_ of good ball players out there who are DHs, and he only got bumped from playing short stop because he tore his right rotator cuff during the last season."

"It's a useless position just to make the game longer and fill up the roster."

Hadley scoffed. "Not much of a baseball fan, are you, Commander?"

"Shh…game's coming back on," Matthews hushed them all.

Yeoman Kelly Chambers' sanguine voice pleasantly came through Shepard's earpiece. "Excuse me, Commander, but there's an incoming call for you from the Citadel."

Shepard turned around on his heel and made his way towards the CIC; Kelly Chambers turned around to face him and folded her hands behind her back. "I heard Joker shouting up there not too long ago. Will he be all right?"

Shepard briefly laughed and shook his head 'no'. "Nothing to worry about, Chambers. He's just listening to a ball game with Hadley and Matthews."

"Oh, it didn't sound like he was enjoying it very much."

"He's a sore loser." His jovial expression faded into a straight face. "Is this call on a secure channel? How urgent is it?" he inquired with a cautious eye.

"I believe it is from Ambassador Udina. He would not leave a message with me or EDI, Commander."

Shepard pursed his lips together and bit his tongue. "I'll take it upstairs in my quarters." _This had better be good. Nothing I hate worse than a slimy politician. I'd just as soon kiss a krogan's ass rather than play nice with this schmuck._

"Good day to you, Commander Shepard," Udina politely greeted him, although Shepard suspected that his tone was heavily laced with resentment. Udina was still upset about not receiving the position on the Council, a choice which was heavily influenced by Shepard's own recommendation.

However, now that Anderson had resigned, Udina was fully committed to continuing on upon that agenda once more. Shepard's relationship with the Council grew somewhat strained after he had made a temporary alliance with Cerberus. He had not yet conveyed his permanent break with the organization to the Council after having destroyed the Collector base and told the Illusive Man to shove it. Doing so would likely repair relations with everyone, but he wasn't sure if he wanted to prematurely reveal this information to Udina yet, especially since he had not yet received the position.

"Let's get on with this. Thought you disapproved of my resurrection," Shepard retorted and began to pace back and forth in front of his terminal.

"Believe you me, Commander, I am not calling you upon my own volition. I'd just as soon have left it to Anderson to deal with his incompetent former protegés."

"You seem to be lacking that silken bullshit tone that you usually use with the Council. Did your dry cleaner put too much starch in your suit today?"

"It's a good thing that I wasn't on the Council when you had your last meeting," he shook his head. "I wouldn't have renewed your Spectre status."

"Luckily for me, there are three other somewhat intelligent species on the Council."

Udina sighed. "I knew that this would be a fruitless conversation. Perhaps I'd better call someone from the Alliance."

Shepard halted his pacing and stared straight at the politician. "What do you want, Udina?"

"Calyn, an ambassador to the Elcor has a favor to ask of you, Commander. He asked that I contact you for your assistance. I told him that he'd be wasting his time, with you being on some important mission…-"

"I'll likely be needing some supplies from the Citadel since the Normandy took quite a bit of damage during our last battle. I don't foresee any issues with making a stop in the Presidium. Besides, I'm sure some of my crew members are looking forward to some extended shore leave," Shepard nodded. "Did the ambassador say how soon he needed to see me?"

A look of surprise came over Udina's face. For about three seconds, he was speechless. "Well, he did say that it was a pressing matter, but, the Elcor and time are rather hard to-"

"I can be there in a few hours. His office was right next to the human embassy, right?"

"That it is. I will deliver this news to the ambassador myself, Commander. We will be awaiting you there." He disconnected the call.

"Still can't say a thank you. Idiot," Shepard commented and rolled his eyes.

* * *

C-Sec HQ, the Citadel, Serpent Nebula, 2185, 1605h

"I'm glad to see that they repaired this section of the ward finally," Garrus began the conversation as he, Shepard, and Miranda stepped into the lift.

"Why's that? Didn't you detest working for C-Sec?" Miranda inquired.

"Not until the very end. Besides, this was a perfect way to kill time."

"Sorry, I'm not following you."

"Well, this is the way that we got to know one another a little bit more before the geth attacked the Citadel. We had a few friendly chats here and there in the elevators."

"That's why I prefer the transports," Miranda shook her head. "They're faster and quieter."

"That figures. You ever like talking to anyone for more than ten seconds at a time?" Miranda's eyes shot over to him with an icy glare, which made him raise up his clawed hands in defense. "Hey, I didn't mean-"

"Better stick to the chats with Tali, Garrus. For now, at least," Shepard laughed through his nose. "Girl has a shotgun, but she's harmless and a much better target for your humor."

"And that makes me feel safer how?' the turian's brow lifted skyward.

"The remains of a derelict space vessel have been found upon the dwarf planet Mnemosyne, but it will take quite some time for Alliance scientists to identify how and why this ship mysteriously lost its mass effect fields. The investigation that had been begun by Admiral Steven Kovach was put into suspension when the admiral suddenly announced that he was taking some administrative leave. No further action by the Alliance has yet to come to light," the galactic news feed announced.

As the trio made their way out of the elevator, they were soon greeted by a newly formatted Avina VI. "Welcome back to the Presidium, Commander Shepard. It has been one month since you have visited-"

The soldier groaned and traveled up the ramp with his other two companions. "Technology and I have a hate and hate relationship."

"I thought that you came to terms with EDI," Garrus joked.

"That was after she saved the Normandy. I've had to destroy far too many other 'advanced' science projects under both the Alliance _and_ Cerberus." He was referring to the Luna incident and Project Overlord.

"Don't forget that _you_ were an advanced science project," Miranda smirked.

"Yeah, thanks for that, by the way." They passed through the automatic door and strolled down the embassy corridor to the Elcor and Volus office.

"For reminding you or saving your life?"

Shepard never got the chance to reply as they just walked into the office. Calyn's monotone greeted him as he noticed the Normandy's commander right away. "With exuberance: Commander Shepard, it is wonderful to see you again on the Citadel."

It'd been a couple of months since the human had to deal with an elcor, but it didn't make the pain any lessening now. The elcor did not have tone inflections; they used adjectives to describe their emotions instead when dealing with aliens.

_God forbid that I watch that Hamlet vid Grunt bought. Think I'll let him watch that on his own time_, Shepard thought.

"Ambassador Udina said that you needed my help," Shepard nodded and placed his arms behind his back, standing at attention.

"Indeed I did, Commander," Udina agreed and patted him on the shoulder. "We know how valuable your time is. This meeting shouldn't take long." He wisely removed his hand as he noticed Shepard's head snap at his actions rather coldly.

"Pridefully: we Elcor are usually a self-sufficient species and do not often make requests. With concern: Commander Shepard does not feel any ill will against us, does he?"

_ Not unless this conversation takes longer than five minutes, no_. "Please, Ambassador Calyn, continue. I came here without any persuasion from Udina."

"Relieved: this is fortunate news. Informative: Dekunna has a great export that many species find irresistible. This is the _malaka cannabis_, better known to the public as the Elcor rose." The ambassador directed their attention to the foliage sitting near the window. By all common appearances, Shepard saw that this heavily resembled a rubber plant. There were perhaps one or two blossoms on it, but they had yet to open.

"That's a rose?" Miranda spoke up.

"Informative: indeed, that is so. Inquisitive: would this be possible for Commander Shepard to transport back to the world of Dekunna?" Calyn continued. "Doleful: it is rather difficult for us to travel back and forth in these vessels due to our bodies' tight confinement in small spaces."

"You want me to be a courier for your plant?" Shepard's eyebrows went up.

Udina's mouth pressed itself firmly shut after he corrected Shepard's impolite question. "Careful, Commander."

"I'm just trying to figure out what he's talking about is all," the ex-Alliance soldier shrugged. "I don't have to show this to C-Sec or any other custom agency, right? They know what it is?"

"Truthfully: you are a Spectre. The planet of Dekunna is within Citadel space. With hope: it is not too far out of your way, is it?" Calyn wondered.

Shepard glanced upon his companions. Miranda's face, as usual was stoic, and Garrus' attention was already gone. He was likely studying the monitor near the keeper in the office.

"Commander, although the Elcor are not part of the Council yet, perhaps it would be best to keep a good relationship with them. Doing this will only strengthen it," Udina lectured him. "They have candidates for a seat that will possibly open up to them after we humans replace former Councilor Anderson."

Shepard changed the topic to deflect Udina's agenda. "How are the studies faring on Sovereign?"

"Shepard, if you'd care to discuss technology, we can get into that later. I'm afraid that I cannot delve into that at the moment," Udina replied. "Please answer Ambassador Calyn's question."

"I will, only after _you_ answer mine," Shepard jabbed a finger into the ambassador's chest. "Let's cut to the chase."

"The funds from the study of the geth have been allocated elsewhere, Commander. Specifically, they went to repair the remainder of Tayseri Wards."

His eyes narrowed. "You wouldn't have had anything to do with that, would you, Udina?"

"This argument is irrelevant, Commander!" Udina sighed heavily. "I knew that this was a waste of time! You always drag that ridiculous myth of the Reapers into every damned conversation I've ever had with you!"

"You shouldn't be such a blind, short-sighted imbecile," Miranda broke in. "Shepard knows what he's talking about. If none of us prepare for this invasion, there'll be hell to pay, and humanity would rather not be dragged into the mud because of you."

"For a Cerberus operative, you're quite bold to walk in here and make demands of me," he pointed his index finger at her. "You're lucky I don't have a C-Sec officer throw you into jail right now for treason and terrorism! It's only because of Shepard's presence here that I haven't-"

"Let's all just calm down, Ambassador. I'll take the plant," Shepard replied and rolled his eyes. "It would just be nice to see some real progress instead of regression."

"I highly agree," Garrus finally spoke up.

"With concern: what are the Reapers?" Calyn inquired.

"I'll write you a manifesto after I make the delivery," Shepard grunted and walked over to the plant. "I don't have to handle this any differently than any other vegetation, right?"

"Deeply gratified: no, Commander. It is much like any other kind of vegetation on the human colonies. Informative: it should receive water twice a day. Artificial sunlight would be prudent if possible."

* * *

Normandy SR-2 Engine Control Room, 2185, 1719h

While Shepard made his rounds with Miranda, Garrus had taken it upon himself to return back to the Normandy with the Elcor rose. It was the least he could do; after all, poor Shepard had to take a verbal assault once again by that parasitic human ambassador. Sometimes Garrus wondered what had stopped Shepard from decking him a few times, especially during the last conversation. He wanted to defend Shepard even more, but since he was a turian, he figured that it was best to keep his mouth shut. He also noticed that Shepard didn't mention the rupture that had taken place in between himself and Cerberus. Why did he want to keep that information under wraps?

_ Humans are so difficult to understand. Some of them love direct confrontation, some of them despise it, and some can't ever seem to make up their minds_, he thought.

Garrus dropped off the plant with Mordin, who was just about to go make travel arrangements for his own vacation to Sur'Kesh until the turian shoved it into his hands. He profusely apologized for the inconvenience, but it did not seem to bother the Normandy's science officer in the least. The salarian naturally knew what it was immediately and rushed back to his lab to provide the foliage's needs.

Garrus checked the clock that was in the Normandy's elevator. He was late; earlier, he'd made the promise to come help Tali'Zorah with the engines at 1700h. The quarians were notorious for punctuality, and the turians generally were, too, but this stupid plant business certainly put a wrench in things.

"Well, I think I heard my father say that 'I'm sorry, dear' or something like that usually got him out of sticky situations with Mom," Garrus murmured to himself as he exited the elevator. "Oh boy." He cautiously entered the ECR.

Sparks flew everywhere as Tali knelt near her work with a welding torch in hand. Her back was to him, but she knew he was there as she heard him clear his throat. "You're late," was her salutation.

"I'm sorry, Tali. Shepard had to make a stop at the Elcor assembly first. To make a long story short, he has to transport an Elcor rose back to their home planet of Dekunna. I took it back here to the Normandy so that he could finish his-"

"Your story just turned into a novel," she remarked impatiently. "Remind me to tell Shepard that we'll be needing some more eezo soon. Or possibly, I could just call it a night early and do it tomorrow morning," the quarian shrugged.

"What can I do to help you, Tali?"

"Do you have much experience with screwdrivers?"

Garrus nodded. "Sure. They're the best things to use for trying to jam up a lock." He bent down near her, and she stopped her work briefly to turn her head towards him. "Well, aside from electronically changed codes. I actually used one once to dislodge a trapped round from the cannon on the old Mako. Stupid thing used to jam up more than a human assault rifle." When Tali didn't laugh, Garrus stopped his own. "Uh, you won't repeat that to Shepard, will you?"

"I don't think he'd mind hearing it from you. He's got a good sense of humor," Tali replied. "Anyhow, okay, those precision screwdrivers on top of the controls should do the trick. There are some machine screws right next to it as well. Now, what I need you to do is to take the PC boards from my terminal outside this room, bring them in here, and place them inside of this voltage adapter that I'm finishing up." She resumed her welding as he arose and began his task.

Two minutes later, Garrus arrived back with all that she had asked and crouched down beside her. "Good. Those are the right ones. Now, this one will go into this circuit," she pointed to the left corner, "the second one in your left hand goes to the right of that, and the third one in your right hand will fit in the side facing us."

"Uh, okay." Garrus nodded with some understanding. He wasn't completely at ease with electronics like his companion, but he wasn't helpless. There were one or two times that Shepard had flipped the Mako over and caused it to stall. Unfortunately, the human soldier was all thumbs when it came to engines. He could make repairs to guns and assemble them faster than any human Garrus had seen in C-Sec, but still, he was not skilled with vehicle mechanics.

Tali arose, turned off the omni-tool's welding torch, and wiped her gloved hands onto her environmental suit. "I'll be back in just a few minutes. Need to go check on Engineers Donnelly and Daniels in the sub-deck," she told him.

"What're they fixing?" Garrus inquired.

"Oh, Donnelly was just making some repairs to the fiber optics in the power attenuators. I think Daniels is adjusting the Calrissian tangents and the Chekhov factors to compensate."

"Sorry I asked," the turian shook his head and put down the PC boards.

By the time Tali came back, she was shaking her head. "The two of them should really think about getting married. They're perfect for one another," she said.

"Yeah, like Shepard and…-um…ah…" Garrus cut himself off. Although he could not see Tali's face, he still knew that she had been terribly heart-broken that Shepard could not have seen her as more than a little sister or a child. Having to also work alongside the same organization that attacked her people could not have been easy either. "Sorry, will remove my foot from my mouth now."

"Let's see what we've got here. Ooh, you even screwed the lid on correctly!" the quarian engineer exclaimed hopefully. "I'm impressed, Garrus."

"Yeah, well, maybe you'd better double-check my work. I'm mechanically inclined and can nail somebody between the eyes at 100 meters, but I'm not sure…"

"Well, the part that I'm plugging it into won't be at full power. The worst that could happen would probably be just a minor fluctuation," she shrugged and picked up the box. "Besides, I wouldn't even dare to ask Shepard to touch any of this equipment. Give the man a gun and he could destroy an entire planet with it. Give him a soldering iron, and he'd probably electrocute himself with it somehow."

"Okay, but just let me know when you're plugging it in, because I want to stand away from it as far as possible."

She made a snorting noise through her helmet, walked over to her terminal, and hooked the box up to it. Seconds later, there was a large pop, a blue flash, and smoke poured out of the box. "Oh, Keelah!" Tali yelled. She rushed to unplug it while Garrus ran to find a fire extinguisher.

As soon as he came back, she had started already to unscrew the box and open it up. Thankfully, none of the other equipment had been damaged. "See what I meant?" he inquired sheepishly.

"I'll admit that I am rather interested to see what caused the blue flashing…oh," Tali'Zorah said as she discovered something unusual. "I told you to put this one here and that one here, for starters!" she exclaimed as she motioned to the circuit boards that he had accidentally swapped.

Garrus' mandibles twitched spasmodically. "Sorry."

"Hmm…and why am I finding extra machine screws lying around in here?"

Garrus lifted up a clawed finger and shook it in the air. "Oh, _that's _what happened to them! I was missing two screws for two holes that I wasn't sure about, so I just did the corners, and-"

Tali pulled out the PC board from the bottom of the device to examine it. "Well, congratulations are in order, I guess."

"Why's that?"

"I've never seen a Descartes-Hudson IC chip turn black before," she sighed.

"That's not good, is it?" Garrus wondered.

"Well, supposedly according to its specs, it was crafted to be the most substantial IC chip ever created by humans."

"Oh, well, that's the problem right there," he joked. "Humans and their outsourcing. I'll never understand-"

"_And_ you managed to chip away a corner of this motherboard. I'm not even going to ask how that happened."

"Sorry."

"It's my fault. You're right, I should've double checked it."

"So, what does this mean?"

"Well, it means that depending how many more times Shepard wants to use the FTL drive core, it might mean that we either get stranded somewhere or will end up in a black hole somewhere in the Omega 4 relay," Tali sighed again and tossed the piece of electronics on the workbench.

"Oh. Wow, Tali, I'm _really_ sorry." Garrus thought for a moment. "Want to grab a bite to eat upstairs? Sgt. Gardner's back from his sabbatical."

"No, I'll probably skip dinner tonight," the quarian's shoulders sagged despondently . "Go on, Garrus."

"Okay. Hey, I just had a thought. How the heck do you Quarians eat? I mean, you can't take off your helmets, right?"

"I don't think that I have time to explain it to you right now." She shook her head 'no' and turned away from him.

Garrus ran a hand over his fringe and started to trudge away sullenly. Suddenly, Tali's depressed mood swung into one of anger. "Come on, you stupid bosh'tet!" she screamed at the terminal and smashed her fist on the holographic interface.

The turian spun around, reached for his sidearm, and fired several rounds of his pistol into the terminal as well as the towers behind it. "NO!" The quarian slammed her hand on her hooded head as she exclaimed.

"What?" Garrus shrugged and put away his gun.

"Do you have _any_ idea of what you've done?"

"Sounded like you were in trouble. Maybe there was a Reaper virus in the computer. You've got a back-up, right?"

Tali's silence was enough of an answer, and if he could see past her helmet's face plate, he would've witnessed the biggest scowl of a lifetime come across her face short of when she found out that her father had practically committed treason on the Alerai.

"You can't just buy this terminal anywhere, Garrus! This hardware was probably assembled right in this room, built specifically to be used just for the Normandy! It's OEM material!" Tali continued her tirade.

"But you can fix it, right? I mean, you're a genius."

The quarian crossed her arms. "Do you want to be the one telling Shepard that we're stuck here on the Citadel indefinitely, or shall I?" She waited for him to give her an answer. When he couldn't do so, she elaborated. "The drive core computer is broken. The Normandy's not going anywhere."

"Yeah, but I've seen you work miracles before. I mean, look at the Collector base, the stuff you salvaged on Haelstrom, the…oh, I'm not really helping, am I?"

"You might want to go eat now." Engineer Donnelly stormed into the ECR, dripping with perspiration, and his face was as black as charcoal.

"Bloody bastards, I'll show 'em who's boss!" he shouted to no one and shook a rather long monkey wrench up in the air. As he noticed the aliens staring at him, he smiled. "Hello, Boss. What's going on?"

"Uh, I was just…on my way out," Garrus said quickly and headed for the elevator.

"Engineer Donnelly, we might have a slight problem," Tali said nervously.

**Author's Notes**

Please do feel free to give constructive criticism or contact me. Reviews are very welcome and greatly cherished. If you do not like something, it's okay to share that as well, but I do humbly ask for a rational reason why you feel this way. There are always improvements to make, and I do not claim to be the best, nor will I ever do so.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Wards' entrance, the Citadel, 2185, 1944h

"Thank you again, Commander Shepard, for all of your help," a salarian hooded dignitary said and bowed his head gratefully as he left the elevator at its stop.

"No problem." Shepard smiled superficially and glanced at Miranda. "It's been a long day, hasn't it? Wanna head back to the Normandy for some dinner?" The lift continued down to a secondary branch of C-Sec.

"Only the best for your second-in-command, I see."

"This _was _supposed to be a surprise for later, but," he sheepishly grinned and pulled out a bottle of rather expensive Asari wine from the shopping bag he was carrying. "Those shotgun mods weren't the only thing I bought today."

"So sending me to the Sirta Foundation had a secondary purpose. You're becoming too clever for your own good, Commander." She cocked an eyebrow at him.

"If my memory serves me correctly, I think that Gardner was supposed to come back today, wasn't he?"

"Uh, Commander, are you there?" Joker's voice called to him on his suit radio.

"Yes, Joker. We're heading back to the Normandy just now," Shepard declared. "Give the ECR a standby for our departure so that they can begin their prep work."

"Yeah, well, something happened while you were gone, and now we can't go anywhere."

Shepard stopped dead in his tracks and so did Miranda. "What do you mean 'we can't go anywhere'? Is there a problem with C-Sec? We paid the docking fees."

Joker sighed. "No, it's nothing like that. The Normandy can't physically leave the port."

"Are the locking mechanisms malfunctioning? Perhaps I should pay a visit to the traffic controllers," Shepard answered.

"Nope, I meant that, well…we're stuck."

"Stuck…?"

"What do you mean, we're stuck?" Miranda's annoyed voice came back, and her hand went onto her hip.

"You'd better get back here to hear the whole story from Tali. All I know is that my baby is grounded for I don't know how long," he despondently remarked with a sigh.

"I can't wait to hear this." Miranda rolled her eyes. "I was supposed to meet Oriana tomorrow for the weekend."

Shepard hummed to himself for a moment and stroked his unshaven cheek as he thought. "Joker, put Tali on, will ya?"

"Uh, she's not wanting to talk to anyone through the intercom at the moment, Commander, sir," Joker's wary voice came back.

His voice's pitch shifted to a lower tone. "Then tell her that _I_ want to talk to her."

"I would if I could, sir, but I think she may have cut it off permanently."

"What gave you that impression?" Miranda asked.

"Well, she missed the microphone the first time with her pistol, and my ears are still ringing from that shot. Good enough?"

"What do Gabby and Ken have to say?" Shepard's voice returned to normal.

"During dinner when I was around the mess eating with Kelly, Gabby busted into the freezer and went though a carton of ice cream. Engineer Donnelly is…um…banging loudly on the pipes in the sub-deck, from what EDI tells me. Hope he doesn't bust up the black water tank in the process," Joker replied. "Nobody can understand what he's shouting either, because of his thick accent."

"I see. Well, I'd better extend shore leave for everybody so that they can expel their tension," Shepard scratched his forehead. "Announce it to the rest of the crew, Joker. Until I can assess the extent of the damage, or at least by tomorrow evening, the gangway will be open."

"No curfew, sir?"

"That's right, well, at least until five p.m. tomorrow. Make sure everyone sets their omni-tools and various other timing devices to Citadel time, because that's what we'll be going by for now. Shepard out." He gazed upon his own omni-tool and corrected the time. "Sorry about your visit, Miranda. At least you can call her, right?"

"What if our crew can't fix the Normandy by tomorrow afternoon?" Miranda ignored his question.

"I'll eat my helmet," he joked and gave her a wink. "Come on, lighten up. We'll be running on all cylinders in no time."

For the first time that day, she actually gave him a full smile and laughed through her nose at his comment. "You do realize that at five o'clock tomorrow, I'll be bringing up a salt shaker as well as various other condiments to your quarters if we're not."

* * *

The Dark Star Lounge, the Citadel, Level 28, 2185, 2144h

"Come on, it's ladies' night!" Kelly Chambers shouted gleefully with Goldstein and a couple of other human crew members. They lifted up their glasses in a toast, clinked them, and drank them down liberally.

"Could I get another round of drinks, here?" Goldstein asked the turian bartender, who nodded wordlessly.

The lounge wasn't full, but it wasn't completely empty, either. The bar was currently occupied by most of the Normandy's female human crew members, while the other species quietly mingled with one another. One audacious member of the Volus race came right up to the bar with a deep bow for a salutation.

"Kel'nak, I thought I told you to get outta here," the bartender sniped and waved a hand away at the volus as if he were a pesky fly.

"Ah, yes, but I have paid the solicitation fee for the year," the volus held up a finger and inhaled deeply through his breathing tubes. He reached behind his back to remove something from his belt. "Earth-clan ladies, could I interest any of you in a few items that I may have here?"

"What've you got there?" Goldstein eyed him suspiciously as the volus removed some things from his pouch.

He laid them out on the bar and waved a hand in the air majestically. "For you lovely Earth-clan ladies, I will give the Kel'nak superb discount of an extra twenty-five percent!" he announced.

"Looks like a bunch of junk," Goldstein remarked sarcastically. "Gimme a break."

"You're not far from the truth, lady," the turian bartender smirked. "Don't give him the time of the day unless you're looking to throw away your good earned credits."

"What's this?" Chambers picked up an OSD.

"Oh, that is an official Shepard VI," Kel'nak exclaimed. "There aren't too many of these around ever since most people lost faith in him. Now that Anderson gave up his position on the Council, humans have lost even more faith for leadership. Why not have the legendary man who defeated Saren the infamous rogue Spectre lending you a hand? Bet he could really organize your schedule and monitor your incoming calls well!"

"You know, they made those things illegal here, Kel'nak. If you wanna keep that license, stop selling those stupid things," the bartender gibed as he served them all their next drinks. "Like I said, humans, don't buy anything from this fella!"

"How about this?" Chambers queried while she examined a chunk of rock.

"Ah…this is something that I _know_ you Earth-clan will love. It is what you might call a 'lunar diamond', no, sorry, that's wrong, pardon me. It is a 'moon rock', yes that's the right term," the volus enthused. "_Very_ rare find! No one outside of the Alliance is allowed to go there anymore, ever since that virtual intelligence program went crazy! And this rock, my dear, comes from the 20th century!"

"Does it comes with a certificate of authenticity?" She drank from her glass conservatively.

"Well, I don't have one here, but-"

"Ha, another scam!" Goldstein guffawed. "Get outta here, you loser."

"I could produce one if you'll kindly allow me to go back to my ship," Kel'nak offered. "Would you care to join me?"

"Gross-and I thought that only humans made horrible pick up lines. Chambers, come on, let's go find a private booth where this yutz can't bother us anymore."

"Ah, I know what you won't be able to resist!" The volus produced a small creature from his pouch, which was quite furry and round. It almost looked like a hamster with no tail and no ears. The creature did have very tiny feet, though, and Kelly felt them creep slowly around her palm as Kel'nak placed it into her hands.

The furry thing began to vibrate, almost like a cat's purr. Chambers immediately became intrigued, put her drink down, and stroked it. "What is this?" she asked. "It's adorable!"

"I thought that you might find it irresistible, my dear Earth-clan. This is called a zalawa, and it comes from the planet Altahe, located in the Acheron system in the Styx Theta cluster. So, yes, it has traveled several thousand light years to find the Citadel."

"Find the Citadel? This thing has thoughts other than eat, sleep, and multiply?" the turian bartender groused. "Right. I'm warning you, you bare-faced swindler, if you continue to annoy these humans, you're gonna be in for it, especially now that the local C-Sec Captain is also one. Or have you forgotten what Bailey did to the last merchant who came through here that kept pestering their kind?"

"Oh, dear," Kel'nak gave a deep gasp as he noticed two human C-Sec officers who just made eye contact with him and gave him suspicious glares. "Well, perhaps you're right. I'll just be going now…uh, keep that one for free with my compliments…"

"But I would like to pay you," Chambers called after the volus, who had already cleared away his merchandise and started to leave. He ignored her and walked out of the club.

"What the hell is that thing called again?" Goldstein demanded.

"A zalawa. Have you ever heard of it before?" she asked the turian.

"I've lived on the Citadel my whole life. Haven't traveled much, sorry, lady. But I do have common sense, that's for sure. I'm not so sure if keeping that little vermin would be wise," the turian said as he wiped down the counter with a rag.

"I don't even know what this thing will eat!" Chambers smacked herself in the forehead. "Oh dear! But it's so cute!"

"At least you didn't have to lose any credits over it," Goldstein commented.

Chambers hopped down from her bar stool. "Thanks for the drinks. I'm gonna go back now so I can make it a home!"

* * *

Normandy SR-2, CIC, 2185, 2249h

Shepard was checking his messages on his private terminal when he saw Chambers walk by with her new pet. "Uh, Yeoman, could I speak to you for a moment?" He made a gesture to her.

"Yes, sir." She stopped and gave him a smile. "What can I do for you?"

"Since we may be 'stuck' here for a while, I'd like for you to keep a cautious eye on the engineering crew members especially," he said and cleared his throat. "If they need to get off the ship or perhaps talk to me, just please have EDI page me or come get me right away."

"Oh, I heard about what happened. I didn't see Garrus when he usually comes in the mess for dinner tonight, either. Should I go check on him?"

"How much of the story do you know?"

"I was there with Joker when Gabby stormed into the mess and demanded all the ice cream that Mess Sgt. Gardner had at gunpoint," Chambers reported and shrugged. "She didn't really say why we couldn't leave, other than it wasn't her fault."

"Gunpoint? Joker didn't mention that." He bit his upper lip. _Time to have Jacob change the access codes to the armory lockers. _

"Now, humor me, Kelly…" Shepard motioned to the zalawa in her hand. "What _is_ that?"

"Oh, there was a volus merchant in the Dark Star Lounge that was going to sell this to me. But I think the bartender may have frightened him off, and so he left before I could pay-"

He clasped his hands in front of his elongated chin impatiently. "But what _is_ it?"

"It's called a zalawa, from somewhere in the Styx Theta cluster. Isn't it darling?" She held the pet up closer for Shepard to examine.

His eyebrows furrowed with question. "I assume you were standing with it like this in your hand through the decontamination chamber, correct?"

"That is affirmative, Shepard," EDI broke in. "Yeoman Chambers and the unidentified creature from another planet are without any known contaminants."

"Key word there is 'known'," Shepard said and rolled his eyes.

"Don't worry, Shepard. You'll never know that it's here. I'll keep it with me at all times and leave it in a cage when I'm in the mess eating," Chambers soothed him. "Don't you just want to hold it?" The creature began to purr.

"Not particularly, no. But I trust you, Kelly, and I trust EDI, too. So go ahead and keep it."

Chambers' beam widened, and she brushed the zalawa against Shepard's unshaven cheek. "Isn't it so soft?" She giggled and went into the elevator.

"Women," Shepard soughed and returned to his terminal.

"Shepard, pardon my asking, but, how much do you trust me?" EDI inquired innocently from the elevator's GUI.

"I wouldn't ask you to start babysitting my kids, if I had any."

"I'm afraid that I do not understand what you mean, Shepard."

"You do your job well, and that's all I know or care about. Is it possible for an AI to really understand human affection?"

"I do not think that parameter will ever be truly interfaced with my software. But I do try to comprehend what I can do to serve you or the Normandy crew better, Commander," EDI politely responded.

"That's good to hear, EDI. In that case, I have a favor to ask of you."

"Certainly, Shepard."

"I'm planning this for tomorrow night, actually. I don't need to remind you-"

"I will notate a specific time stamp of this conversation and record it for back-up purposes, Shepard, just in case."

"Fine. Then put a block on this from Miranda." _Since we're not going anywhere for a while, I might as well cheer her up_.

* * *

Normandy SR-2, Crew Mess, 2185, 721h

"Holy mother of…what the hell is this?" Mess Sgt. Gardner yelled at the top of his lungs as he opened the refrigerator to retrieve some eggs. Sitting on top of some leftovers was a furry little zalawa. It was lighter in color than the one Kelly had, and Chambers rushed over to see what had happened. He cautiously picked it up and threw it down the garbage chute without another second to lose. Then he ran over to the sink and began to wash his hands.

"What do you think you're doing?" Kelly screamed.

"Getting rid of the damn thing's germs of course," Gardner replied.

"Wha-how did my…" The yeoman ran back into the crew quarters to check up on her pet, saw it sitting in its cage, and removed it. She walked back out into the mess with the zalawa and began to stroke its fur. "I thought that I'd lost you."

"And I thought that I'd thrown that damn thing out! How'd you get it out of the garbage?" Gardner snapped.

Miranda wandered out of her quarters to see what the fuss was all about. Unsurprisingly, she was impeccably dressed; however, she had not yet put on her makeup for the day. She said nothing but only watched the exchange.

"It's not the one you threw out! Don't ever do that again, you xenophobe!" Chambers thundered.

"Look, Yeoman, I gotta keep things clean here. You want hair and fur in your omelet this morning?" He placed his fists onto his hips, and when Kelly made no reply, the continued. "Didn't think so. Now get that thing outta my mess before I take that one away from you, too."

* * *

Normandy SR-2 Gangway, 2185, 936h

Shepard anxiously stood at attention while he waited for the elevator. Letting David Anderson and the rest of the Council take a tour of the newly improved Normandy was the best way that he could currently think of to demonstrate his break from Cerberus. Although Anderson was no longer part of the Council, he still had friends in the Alliance and a say in their politics.

The lift beeped to mark its arrival, and Anderson as well as the Asari Councilor and Executor Pallin filed out. "Sir, it's great to see you again," Shepard grinned and held out his hand to Anderson, who gladly accepted it. "Councilor Tevos, Executor Pallin, please, welcome aboard the Normandy."

"We apologize for our tardiness," Tevos said and bowed her head. "Councilor Sparatus could not join us; his wife has been taken ill, and Councilor Valern is dealing with the Salarian STG at the moment. So Councilor Sparatus has asked that Executor Pallin take his place instead. This will not pose a problem, I hope?"

"Not at all," Shepard shook his head 'no'. "He's just as welcome. Please step aboard."

As they waited patiently to be scanned and decontaminated, the turian ventured forth his first observation for the day. "I see that Cerberus spent a great deal of money on this project."

"Indeed. The logo is still very prominently displayed on the bow and the stern, Commander. We were hoping that you would perhaps break your treaty with them," Tevos pressed.

"Worry no more; I did."

"May I ask when this occurred?"

"Pretty much ever since the Illusive Man ordered me to not destroy the Collector base. He wanted me to keep that abomination intact so that they could study the technology. That was the final straw," Shepard replied as the airlock opened.

"I'm glad you made the break, for one," Anderson chuckled and slapped Shepard on the shoulder. "Knew that they were just using you, and I also knew that Shepard would never let his principles be shaken. After all, he did save the Council two years ago."

"Yes, and you also could have let the Destiny Ascension fall but didn't," Pallin remarked. The entire party strolled into the cockpit.

"Hey Cap…I mean, uh…what do I call you now that you're not the captain or a councilor, sir?" Joker turned around when he heard Anderson's voice.

"You can drop the 'sir', Joker. I'm just a civilian now."

"Old habits die hard, sir. I'm not an Alliance flunky anymore, but, well, you know…"

"Ha ha ha, yes I do, Joker. It's great to see you at the helms. I'll bet that Shepard was glad to have you back."

"You bet he was. He would never have made it through the Omega 4 relay without me," Joker smirked. "Wait till you see our improvements. This ship is ten times _better_ than the original Normandy."

"Better? How's that?" Executor Pallin inquired.

"Well, the leather seats for one." He paused in mid-thought. "Sorry, Commander, this is your show and tell. See ya later," Joker turned around and went back to work.

"Come on, I'll show you," Shepard motioned to his party with his hand and took them away from the bridge.

Poor Joker was never good around people, and having so many of them in the cockpit would likely be a bad idea. His cantankerous attitude would increase from one light year to several astronomical units. Shepard was not a fan of kowtowing to politicians in general, but he chose to cater to the Council because he knew that humans would soon need their help. Making friends or allies was relatively easy, but keeping them was entirely a different matter.

"As you can see, most of the CIC is outfitted the same way as the SR-1 was, with haptic interfaces. We actually need fewer people up here than we used to."

"Did all of your crew members agree with your poignant decision, Shepard?" Councilor Tevos inquired.

"I can only think of one or two that didn't, but they're gone. Unfortunately, while I was out on a mission on the shuttle, the Collectors boarded the Normandy and stole the crew members. They were able to find us through the IFF signal that they use to pass through the Omega 4 relay," Shepard responded.

"Why would the Collectors want your crew?" Pallin asked.

"Remember our friends the Protheans?" They entered the laboratory. "Unfortunately, Dr. Mordin Solus left the Normandy for now to go home to Sur'Kesh. I think he had some family to visit, but he could show you definite proof of this."

"Proof of what?" Tevos wondered.

"Proof that not all of the Protheans vanished, but were rather repurposed by the Reapers, as tools of their will."

"What're you saying, Shepard?" Anderson's eyebrows raised.

"The Collectors were the Protheans."

"That's insane! What kind of nonsense has Cerberus been filling your head with? Did they put this propaganda into you after they rebuilt you? What a ridiculous leap of logic!" Pallin exclaimed.

"It is quite logical, Executor Pallin," EDI interrupted them and appeared near the research computer. "I am the Normandy's VI. You may address me as EDI. If Commander Shepard would like, I am able to access my databases to give the necessary evidence to you."

"So Cerberus also equipped this ship with a VI," Tevos observed. "And Dr. Mordin Solus…I recognize that name. His reputation was quite laudable up until now. Perhaps that is why Councilor Valern could not join us."

"EDI, we can show them the reports later. For now, I'd like for Councilor Tevos to meet someone." Shepard led them through the corridor to the armory.

Jacob Taylor had been cleaning out his shotgun but immediately stopped and saluted Shepard. "Commander, please forgive my appearance. I wasn't aware that your party was headed this way, sir," he said.

"That's quite all right, Taylor. I would've given you notice if that were necessary. This is Executor Pallin, former Councilor Anderson, and Councilor Tevos."

"Pleasure to meet you sirs and ma'am," the ex-Alliance soldier also saluted them.

"This man speaks just like an Alliance soldier," Pallin noticed.

"That's because he served with them for five years. I wanted you to meet Mr. Taylor in particular, Councilor Tevos, because this is the man who stopped those batarians from releasing that bio-weapon onto the Citadel last year," Shepard motioned to Taylor, who stiffened up even more. "He had some help from my XO, whom you'll meet in just a few minutes. Even though his uniform may have the logo on it as well, I assure you, that Jacob Taylor is a good and honorable man."

"I read some reports from two months back regarding a Captain Ronald Taylor's arrest. He's your father, isn't he?" Anderson wondered.

"That's true, sir. But I'd rather not discuss it," Taylor nodded.

"You were the one who…we are in your debt, Mr. Taylor," Tevos remarked and bowed her head. "Perhaps one day you will be good enough to grace the other councilors and me in the Tower so that we may formally recognize your actions."

"Thank you, ma'am," Taylor agreed. "I'd be honored. Cerberus doesn't hold a candle to the Commander's heroism. Everyone who's here supports him 100%."

"Well, let's go down a deck, shall we?" Shepard invited them outside the armory to the crew elevator.

Once they were on the third deck, Shepard was just about to open his mouth to speak when he heard several bloodcurdling screams. He dashed towards the noise, noting that it came from the ladies' showers. Two female crew members dashed out of there covered in towels. "What's wrong?" he asked them.

"These things just fell out of the ceiling. Ugh, they're nasty!" one woman yelled. Both of them ran for the quarters, and Shepard politely knocked on the door first.

"Excuse me, is anyone in here? I'm just looking for…-" Shepard walked in and noticed about thirty or forty of those animals that Kelly had gotten on the Citadel. They weren't doing much of anything, but he could understand why having a few of them dropping down onto heads in the shower would cause alarm. As he left, he noticed that the men were actually throwing the zalawas out of their showers.

"Um…I'm not really sure how to explain this…" Shepard scratched the back of his head. As they neared the mess, Miranda came out of her office. "Perfect timing, as usual; this is my XO, Miranda Lawson."

"You said that Miss Lawson was also responsible for wiping out the batarian bio-weapon?" Tevos inquired.

"Yes. She helped Jacob."

"Our thanks be to you, Miss Lawson." Tevos bowed her head again. "While my other two companions could not be here, I would like to extend to you their gratitude."

Miranda's eyebrows knitted together as she heard the commotion. "What the hell is going on?" she demanded.

"I'm not sure how, but it looks like that thing Kelly bought is multiplying," Shepard stated.

* * *

**Author's Notes**-Many thanks be to you all for reading. I hope you all enjoy. Please kindly share your thoughts with me. For those who are from the U.S., Happy Thanksgiving to all. We have much to be grateful for. I say this not to gloat about my country but rather stir some thoughts. For some odd reason, I had this very strange dream of Grunt last night shoving a thirty-eight pound turkey down his throat. Anyone else hungry?


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Normandy SR-2 ECR, 2185, 1006h

"Can I do something for you, Tali? I really want to make up for what happened yesterday," Garrus said as he walked into the room. "I also noticed that you turned off the intercom."

"That was because I didn't want to be disturbed," the quarian said and did not turn around. She continued her work as if he weren't even there. Legion was also working nearby but wisely kept its distance.

"What's that bampot doing in here?" Engineer Donnelly's eyes narrowed. "I believe that this room is reserved for the engine crew, laddy. Get back to your battery, ya bawjaws;_ that's_ the place for your dirty bullets."

The geth turned towards the turian and flexed its optic lens as it studied his organic body. "We do not understand the logic behind such a decision. Surely a sapient creature such as yourself would have thought out the repercussions before making such an inadequate choice, Gunnery Chief Vakarian."

"Guess being the chivalrous one isn't always the best option," Garrus commented and sheepishly shook his head. "Logic doesn't always enter into the equation with us, Legion."

"That observation has been noted up to 1,047 times since this platform has integrated itself into the Normandy. Taking into account that your blood pressure and heart rate have climbed 42% since you entered the ECR, we statistically predict that illogical decision number 1,048 will be made within the next two minutes."

"What the hell are those things?" Donnelly's head turned from their conversation to witness a few zalawas fall down into the drive core.

"According to Yeoman Kelly Chambers, the species is called a zalawa. I have made an extranet search. This creature has origins from the planet Altahe, located in the Acheron system in the Styx Theta cluster," EDI informed them all.

"Well, whatever they are, if they plug up the drive core, they'll make an even worse mess of things than we're already in," Tali observed with a sigh.

"That does it, then," Donnelly said and hopped over the guard rail with his large wrench in hand. He was already on his way climbing over the core's conduits to expel the creatures.

"Wait, Ken, the capacitors are still live!" Tali shouted, but it was too late.

A large surge of current surged through Donnelly's body just as he had picked the furry creature up. It knocked him far back against the guard rail, slamming him back at full force. Tali and Garrus rushed over to him; thankfully, he was breathing. His hair was completely black and disheveled. "Got the scunner," he announced with a cough and a weak smile.

The quarian engineer shook her head and sighed. "Come on. We need to get you to Dr. Chakwas."

* * *

Normandy, SR-2, Crew Deck, Miranda's Office, 2185, 1907h

"Ms. Lawson, Kasumi has been asking for you," EDI announced and interrupted her in the middle of her typing.

"Me? Why not Shepard?" The Aussie paused from her work and looked up at the ceiling speaker.

"That is not for me to say. Since Yeoman Chambers is now off-duty, I must now attend to her duties."

"Did she specify a time frame?"

"It's rather urgent, she says."

"Be right there." Miranda stopped her work and arose from her chair. As she walked inside the port observation deck, there was no one there, or at least, no one appeared to be there. "If this is some kind of prank, Goto, it's not funny," she stated, crossed her arms, and rolled her eyes.

When she turned on her heel to leave, as if on cue, an old doo wop song started to play in the room's compact P.A. system. A pair of hands surrounded her hips as she heard the familiar sound of a cloaking field discharging. She gasped in surprise. "Those don't feel like a woman's hands," she said with a smile.

"Sorry for the deception," Shepard replied. "I couldn't take my eyes off of you during dinner."

Her arms covered his, and her fingertips quivered over his warm hands."Oh, well, the apology certainly isn't necessary. Where is our master thief, by the way?"

"Taking care of business on shore leave." His voice was but a whisper, and he pushed her chestnut hair away from her neck. He kept one hand round encircled about her hip and nuzzled his lips against her neck. "Don't exactly know where, but she's not coming back…tonight."

"What's with the…" She paused as he spun her around gently. "Music? Sounds really old."

"Found it after watching a really ancient vid last night." Shepard's arms returned to her waist as he pulled her into his embrace. "I haven't done this in so long…not since I was at the Academy. Dance with me."

"Is that a command or a request?" Her voice nearly purred as she leaned her head against his shoulder and fell into rhythm with him.

"Little of both." He glanced down at her rigid frame and gave her a slight nudge. "C'mon, Miranda, be a little impulsive."

She closed her eyes. "If I ever hear that again, you'll see what happens when I am." Miranda's arms slid up to his shoulders and landed upon the back of his neck. She then lifted her head and rested it against his forehead. "I like it. Simple melody but gorgeous."

They listened to the song and swayed to the beat until the song ended without another word. As the next song started, Shepard's mouth came into a dangerous proximity of hers. "I'd like another one, Miss Lawson, if you'd be so kind."

"As long as it's as good as the first one."

He came in so close to her lips that she thought he was going to kiss her, but instead he drew himself away, seized hold of her hand, and twirled her slowly around. The gesture totally caught her off-balance, but she came back to him nearly like a professional.

The singer's deeply reverberated voice poured into her soul, and she felt Shepard's cheek against hers. He wasn't actually all _that_ bad of a dancer. Not once had he stepped on her toes or lost the rhythm. She was impressed with this impromptu interlude, so much so that she was the one who initiated the first kiss. It started off as completely chaste, but their chemistry grew and got the better of them. Both nearly battled for position upon one another's lips and as she finally broke away, both were nearly breathless.

"Last night, when you were eating that mousse that Gardner made, I wished that I were that spoon," he whispered.

A wicked smile came across her lips. "Is that so?"

"I was so damned jealous that I had to walk away from the mess," he chuckled at himself. "I wanted you right then and there."

"What kept you away last night?"

"Uh…had to blow off some steam and I thought that you were busy. Well, at least you looked it yesterday."

"I would've made some time for you…you should know that."

"Anyway, it gave me some time to think and come up with this idea. Not too shabby, is it?"

"Shabby?"

"It was in the vid that I watched. I think it means 'bad' or something like that. I tried to find a definition of it in EDI's encyclopedia, but sometimes you just gotta go with context."

"So far, it's been pleasant enough. What exactly was the title of this vid, or was it an Alliance marine quote training vid?"

"Really old film, made in the 1980s…had to do with dancing. I think it was a classic on Earth for a long time. And how, may I ask, did you come to learn that idiom?"

"Dancing like this?" She circumvented his question.

"Well, it had all sorts of dancing in it. But uh, I'm not sure if I can move quite like the man in the film-he was remarkably good. He must have been a professional."

"Wouldn't be worth watching the vid otherwise, would it?"

"I think you'd like it." She leaned her forehead against his again and closed her eyes as the next song began. "If we survive the Reapers, wanna make a date to sit down and watch it?"

"How long is this vid?"

"'Bout two hours."

"Why wait? If this vid is as good as you say it is, then it's certainly worthy of my attention for at least tomorrow night."

"Didn't you have plans with Ori-"

"She can wait, especially if we're not going anywhere for a while. I spoke with her last night on the extranet."

Touched by this last statement, he took her hands and placed them around his neck. "Had a couple of shots earlier. Think I might just try and be so bold, Miss Lawson. I haven't forgotten about my earlier question, either. You didn't answer it."

"Another one, then?"

"Might have to turn things up a notch. This song wasn't in that vid. EDI, you remember that one I told you about? Go ahead and play it."

"No responses? How did you-?"

He shook his head and touched his back pocket. "Mute button for her speech. Mordin's invention-by my request. I can activate it from anywhere on the ship."

The sultry song started to play; he scooted forward enough so that his legs became entangled with hers and that their hips were touching. "About those Alliance marine training vids…" He started to gyrate his hips directly against hers. Her breathing kicked itself up a notch as he made eye contact with her.

"Ah. You are one stubborn ass, Shepard. I may answer you...one day," she breathed and matched his movements perfectly. In fact, she began to add more intensity to his grinding and suddenly spun around. Knowing that he didn't want to lose contact with her hands, she slid them up and down his body.

The beat was slow, heavy, and nearly hedonistic compared to the rather innocent songs that had begun their date. He was completely draped over her, and his hands captured hers once more. She let them intertwine their fingers for a while and tilted her head to one side.

"If you don't, my imagination might start running wild. You know what happens when it does," he responded into her ear.

As if he had read her mind, he let go of her hands and moved them to her hips. She could feel his ever-growing desire right against her, which only enticed her to continue forward with her seduction. Two could play at this game.

Miranda suddenly moved away from him for a moment, surprising him. But she didn't go far; instead, she dropped down to the ground, turned around, and elapsed her entire body up against his. "My God, woman. What're you doing to me?" he nearly choked.

"Think your plan might be working, Shepard?"

"Yeah, well, who's exactly…uh…got control here?"

She gave him a wanton smile and winked. "Isn't a relationship about two people?"

"Point taken."

She brushed against him heavily again; now she could feel that he was breathing rather erratically, too. Mission accomplished. "How much of this music did EDI compile exactly?"

"Oh, I don't know…" Her hands mercilessly grabbed his backside, which made him give another unexpected and sharp inhale. "Maybe all night."

"Remind me to give her an upgrade next time we're in Nos Astra."

"Now I know you need me," he joked. "Can't remember it all by yourself. Glad I can help."

"I'll be needing all that I can get," she breathed into his ear. "Very soon. This is a… two-person job." Her lips came dangerously close to grazing it as each word poured like honey into him. "I've…learned the value…of teamwork…from a certain…someone."

"Oh, well, since you put it that way…" Shepard picked her up and carried her over from the middle of the room on the bar, knocking over some of the wine bottles in the process. "Hope those weren't good years."

"You ass," she chortled and drew him to her lips for a saucy kiss with both of her hands round his neck.

"No, yours." He broke away to say, but she interrupted him from any more talk. He got the message loud and clear; conversation was no longer her priority. It truly wasn't his either, but words could definitely entice movement, which was why he next followed up on his last sentence. It was now her turn to inhale sharply as he gave her a slight squeeze.

Now, interestingly enough, the next song had little to no words. It was completely instrumental, but the beat was tribal…like the pounding music at Afterlife in Omega. And it got gradually faster…

His fingers left her derriere and trailed up her side to her zipper while his other cradled her neck, and his tongue wormed its way into her mouth slowly but surely. She hummed in pleasure and laughed through her nose at his impatience. Miranda covered his hand with her own, arose from the bar, removed her choker, and threw it on the ground.

_Good. I always hated that thing_, Shepard thought to himself. He pressed her against the wall and his biotics started to flicker along both of their bodies. "My XO's wishes always come first," he whispered and began to devour her jaw on his way to her neck.

"If you even think that…oh…you're not going to…ah…be on the receiving end of…ooh…" Her hands tried to sneak down his abdomen, but he broke away from her briefly and seized both at once.

"Don't disobey orders, Miss Lawson," he growled and thrust them above her head against the wall. Then he continued his merciless torture upon her neck. She tried to resist his grip, but he pressed everything against her harder, including his own weight. Naturally, both of them knew that she was the stronger biotic and could easily have thrown him to the floor if she had wanted to, but, there was a curiosity growing inside of her. She knew what she could or would do, but she was piqued. In battle, he was definitely worthy of all the medals he'd won.

"Technically, I'm rogue…ohh…and on the…" Another sharp inhale stopped her from finishing her sentence. "On the…run…"

"But this is…" He rubbed his stubble against her neck and gave her a very slight nip, "my ship. We followed your navigation last time." Shepard dragged his lips over to the other side of her neck. "Tonight, we follow the stars through your captain's direction."

"Shepard…" She whimpered as she felt his lips open and close with a very slight suction. His tongue followed his bottom teeth gingerly to moisten his bite. "Please…"

"Trust me, Miss Lawson." He moved up and down her neck like a piston in an engine. "You…won't…regret…a…thing." A minuscule surge of current from his tongue shot through her nerves, making her exhale again.

Miranda stopped fighting his grip, dropped her hands to the back of his own neck, and ran her hands the wrong way through his hair to encourage him. He suddenly stopped, gave her a cavalier grin, and in one fluid motion, completely unzipped her. She didn't expect him to eventually get onto his knees, which is what he did next, as he trailed his rather wet lips down her chest. Her hands returned to his hair and grew more frenzied as he moved down to her breasts. She tossed back her head in pleasure; he slipped one hand inside her brazier. Just when she thought that he was about to rip away the material completely, instead, he just sneaked his hand inside and cupped her.

Holy crap. For so long, she had always been the one in control…the temptress…the dominatrix. In brief moment, she was honestly scared that she could be served…pleased…sated…tamed. Said moment, however, faded like a singularity as she realized that this former Alliance marine would immerse himself for **hours** with her. They hadn't truly had one night to themselves for three weeks. A few stolen kisses occurred here and there, but, suddenly, repairs to the Normandy's drive core didn't seem quite so paramount anymore. "Hmm, just there a bit longer," she murmured aloud.

"Excuse me, Commander Shepard…" EDI's voice interrupted them and cut off the music instantaneously. They immediately separated from one another.

He growled angrily, seized hold of the controller in his pocket, and threw it onto the ground. "So much for that brilliant idea." The component shattered into hundreds of pieces on the hard floor.

Miranda sighed as well and zipped herself back up. She bent over to examine the cracked PC board and ran her fingers over the traces.

"I really must apologize, but there's an emergency in my server core," the AI informed them. "The zalawas appear to be contaminating the room in great numbers."

"Great. This wouldn't have worked for more than a couple of days, Shepard," she rolled her eyes and shoved the piece into his hand. "There was a short in between these two circuits. He must've soldered them together very haphazardly."

"How convenient. He went home yesterday on furlough," Shepard clenched his teeth. "I'm restricting him to decaf for a month and limiting his rations to half."

"I didn't think that Dr. Solus needed coffee in the morning," she shook her head. "You give too many chances."

"He drinks tea." Shepard bit his upper lip. "Can we pick this up later?"

Miranda's fingers lightly brushed a trail down his forearm with a forlorn smile. "Another time, 'kay? I've got some work to do. But I do want to make some time for us, and I _always_ keep my promises. I'll make it worth the wait," she added with a wink.

He bunched his hands through his hair in frustration, ruining his hairstyle completely, and stormed out of the observatory. "Is that the reason why you insisted upon deck four the first time?" he shouted to no one in particular as he made his way towards the AI core.

Dr. Chakwas heard some of his outburst as he nearly stomped through the infirmary. "Everything all right, Commander?" she inquired.

"Not really, no," Shepard returned, shaking his head.

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Yeah, I guess. Do you know anything about these furry things Chambers brought on?"

"I found one underneath the body scanner, actually. I hope you don't mind, but I gave it to Kelly thinking that perhaps it had escaped. However, she assures me that hers has stayed in its cage all day," Chakwas continued.

"Any theories as to how these things multiply or is it the usual way?" Shepard demanded.

"I know I may not sound much like a doctor or even a scientist, but unfortunately, I don't have much of a clue."

"Well, these things seem to be clogging up the AI core, so I'll bring one back for you to study," he said with an angry sigh and opened up the door to the server room.

Grunt and Jacob were both in the AI core armed with their shotguns ready as Shepard entered. "Heard you were on the hunt for these weird little things," Grunt commented. "Could use something to do."

"EDI said that these things were all over her servers. There don't appear to be all that many in here," Shepard replied and scratched his head out of curiosity. "But yes, I would appreciate all the help I could get."

"That's because we already cleared out a bunch," Jacob answered. "Gardner disposed of some of them out the airlock."

"He should make better use of 'em," Grunt said. "They aren't too bad-they taste real good on skewers..even better with spicy noodles." Both humans eyed him curiously and he shrugged. "I found that out when I discovered some of these things in my quarters. Brought some of 'em to the Fish Dog Food Factory for lunch earlier today. You kill 'em, they grill 'em."

Shepard held up a finger and took a breath to speak but then thought better of the remark he was going to make. "Anyone have an idea as to how to get rid of these creatures permanently?"

"Shepard-Commander, we have been also searching throughout the extranet for more information regarding the zalawa species, but regretfully cannot find more than the planet of their origin. No documentation has been uploaded or gathered regarding these creatures," Legion informed him. "However, this platform has been observing the acute behaviors of all sapient organics and interactions with the zalawa species."

"Really?" Shepard pretended to be interested but instead focused his attention upon sweeping some dust away from the top of EDI's server rack units.

"Indeed. The invading zalawas have been a unique opportunity for the geth to study your species in particular, Shepard-Commander."

"We could just take a blow-torch or a flame thrower to 'em all," Jacob offered.

Shepard stood on top of a step-ladder to unscrew the vent hold and check the A/C filter.

"And ruin a perfect appetizer to dinner? Well, then I suggest we set the flame throwers to the lowest setting so they'd at least turn a golden brown," Grunt laughed.

All throughout the krogan's last comment, Shepard had been struggling to get the filter loose. Jacob joined Grunt's merriment, and Shepard was just about to as well, but he finally triumphed. Unfortunately, as he removed the A/C filter, a huge pile of zalawas fell down the air conditioning duct, and knocked him down to the floor off of the small ladder. Shepard was literally covered from toe to shoulder in furry creatures. Grunt and Jacob were only spared because they were standing closer to Legion. Their laughter unfortunately became worse as more zalawas kept on tumbling down from above onto Shepard's head. "This is getting a bit extreme for my tastes," Shepard grumbled and tried to free up his limbs. "Get some of these damned things to Chakwas. I want a full clean up of this room, and EDI, open up a channel to Miranda."

"Of course, Shepard," the AI coolly replied.

Jacob and Grunt began to pick up a few of the zalawas. They disappeared through the door to the medical bay to deliver the creatures to the doctor and then went to get a container.

"Commander, what can I do for you?" Miranda's calm and collective voice began to placate his annoyances.

"Get a hold of Mordin, will ya? This is a bigger problem than I…ouch…thought," Shepard winced as another two zalawas made an impact on his noggin.

"Shepard, are you all right?"

"Just get him here…_now._"

"Yes, sir, will do."

"Wait a minute, Miranda. Can you also check on Tali's progress with the drive core? I'm almost covered from head to foot in these animals."

"Shepard-Commander, Creator Tali'Zorah's progress is good. However, we must caution you that she is not receiving much needed sleep or food that you organics require to function without anomalies or aberrations," Legion told him. "We were assisting Creator Tali'Zorah until approximately thirty minutes ago. EDI was not able to reach you through analog communication at first, so she called us instead. May we inquire as to why that would be so?"

Shepard cleared his throat. "Normally, Legion, I wouldn't mind answering that question, but not this time. Thanks anyway, Miranda." He closed the channel.

The synthetic intelligent's optic contracted and expanded several times as the geth tried to ascertain the human's motives. "Did EDI do something wrong? Have we made an inappropriate query?"

"You could say that…we were preparing to share information."

"We?" The geth's carbon fibers flexed abnormally around its head. "Shepard-Commander, humans do not operate like the geth. You do not have more than one program in your operating system…"

Shepard's teeth clenched together as he finally was able to free up a limb from the pile. "Forget it, then. Just go back to the ECR to help Tali. I don't need a robot to analyze my sex life," he groaned. "Or lack thereof," he mumbled sotto voce.

* * *

*Author's Notes*-Please feel free to leave a review and let me know how much you enjoyed the chapter (or not at all). Not many things changed throughout this chapter, it just needed some tweaking. I'd like to take a moment to thank a friend from Scotland whose wise counsel I used at earlier points in this chapter. All of those words are actual insults. I could not tell anyone if they are from a specific area, but it was fun to learn about it. Thank you to all for reading, and I hope I've entertained you.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

The Dark Star Lounge, Level 28, the Citadel, 2185, 2021

While Shepard had decided to do some shopping with Tali, Engineer Donnelly, Zaeed, Garrus, Grunt, Crewmen Matthews and Hawthorne as well as Jacob decided to blow off some energy at the Dark Star. Initially, Donnelly was completely adverse to bringing Garrus with the party, but Jacob insisted upon it. Needless to say, the engineer and gunnery chief kept their distance upon the transports and elevators on their journey. Before the two parties split ways, Shepard drew Jacob aside. "Jacob, I heard all about what happened yesterday in the ECR and the mess…-"

"Yes, sir," Jacob nodded. "I'll keep an eye on Garrus and Ken, if that's what you mean."

"Please do. Also, if you can, watch out for the rest of them as well. You've seen how short Zaeed's fuse is when he's sober...dunno how much shorter it gets when he drinks but I can only imagine that it's worse. If _anything_ should get out of hand, gimme a buzz on the radio, and I'll come break it up with you," Shepard instructed him.

"Will do, Shep. Why don't you and Tali come join us?"

"We'll see. For now, just do your best to keep everyone in line. Don't do anything I wouldn't do, and don't forget to enjoy yourself as well, Taylor." Shepard gave him a wrap on the arm with an open palm. "You look like you need to unwind a bit."

"Aye, aye, sir, looking forward to obeying that order." Taylor gave him a salute, and Shepard guided Tali back into the elevator to go to another floor as the others filed out.

The feeling was nice and low-key as Jacob and the rest of his fellow mates strolled into the Dark Star. The music wasn't too loud, and the crowd wasn't too thick, either. There were about half a dozen turians who'd settled themselves closely to the bar as well as a few asari in the booths and one or two voluses drinking by themselves right near the bartender. The same bartender that had served Chambers and Goldstein yesterday was also there busily pouring drinks for one and all.

"First round is on me," Jacob offered them all. "Pick your poisons, fellas."

"Poison?" Garrus inquired with a worried eyebrow. "Look, Taylor, I'm really sorry about the drive core-"

"Will you stop apologizing for that, you bawheed? He means 'make your beverage of choice'!" Donnelly shouted.

"Relax, Donnelly, there's no need to shout," Jacob tried to pacify the Scot. A couple of the turians' heads turned towards the row, and Hawthorne gave them an evil glare.

"What're you looking at?" he demanded.

"A bunch of barefaced morons, what else?" one smirked and laughed. The others joined in with his jollity.

"I'll let that one slide, since we're here to enjoy ourselves, " Zaeed rolled his eyes and stepped forward to the barkeep. "Come on, man, let's have a beer for everyone. Newcastle Ale all right?"

No one argued with the mercenary, so the turian immediately began to fill up glasses with the beer. The rest of the company sat down next to the two voluses on bar stools, who got up without a word and went to a table. No sooner had they sat down than one asari in a maroon colored dress passed by them and gave a wink to Zaeed. "Friend of yours?" Garrus asked him.

"Ah, you mean Leona," the merc said as he drank down half of his beer and swiped a remainder of foam from his mouth away. "She was a fine piece, all right. Former Commando and all...probably is in her matron years now, I'd think. Yeah, that's right. Helluva girl, Leona is. Held a job as an undercover cop in Illium; you'd never know it by the first look, though. Did her work as one of these exotic dancers. I wouldn't have found out if I hadn't been there doing some of my own work to undermine the Blue Suns in Nos Astra."

"What happened?"

"I got my info through the barkeeper and other girls. When I tried to talk to her, she was really close-lipped. Then I tried to tip her; that still didn't work. I had a feeling that there was more to her then, so I asked her if she did private dances, you know, in the back room…-"

Hawthorne guffawed as he listened and drained his drink. "Oh yeah. How far did you get?"

"Hah, you aliens are funny. You think about how far you can go with females? You should _really_ think about how _hard_ you can go. _That's_ what proves to be impressive to them," Grunt slammed his palm into his giant fist. "Give them a night to remember and scars for the next time you mate."

"It wasn't that night," Zaeed shook his head. "We had our first business meeting. After we pulled off our masks, it turned ugly for about half a minute. When she realized that I was digging up the dirt on them, so to speak, she backed off and asked me what I knew." He drank the rest of his beer and motioned for another one.

"I don't get why you stopped fighting each other."

"Then what?" Garrus inquired.

"Well, we had a mutually beneficial partnership. It got close…but then she thought that someone at the club was going to blow her cover, so we agreed to break it off on both accounts. I later sent her some intel…looks like it might have paid off," Zaeed said with a grin and motioned to the booth where she sat.

"Why don't you go talk to her?" Jacob wondered.

"It's been fifteen years, I dunno," he shrugged. "I don't think she has feelings for me anymore. That wasn't anything but a hello."

"Maybe it's because she knew better than to date a human," another turian from the group near them called out. "The asari can do better than whore themselves up with one of your kind."

"I'd watch your mouth if I was you," Zaeed's eyebrows rose.

"You're not me, though. So why don't you go back to your home planet and rejoin the rest of your race in the cave man era?" the same one jeered.

"Yeah, humans were a lot better before you could even speak or even stand up straight," another turian shot back.

"Hey, man, we're just here to have a good time. There's no need to stir up trouble," Jacob spoke. He saw anger rising in the mercenary's eyes already.

"Yeah, well, you've gotten yourselves into nothing but trouble, especially when that vapid and bone-headed Alliance commander became a Spectre. He screwed everything up for the whole galaxy. Would've been better if your kind had never found out what a mass relay was or even did," the largest one said. He wore jade face paint on either side. "Yeah, that one named Shepard; thanks to him, those rachni are gonna be overrunning the galaxy again and killing the rest of us!"

Grunt chugged down his Ryncol, threw his glass mug on the floor, and took a step towards him. "You'd better not be insulting my battle master, water dog."

"Hey, you're gonna pay for that, krogan!" the turian bartender snapped as he pointed to the broken glass on the ground.

"Sorry about that; just throw it on my tab," Jacob held up his hands in surrender.

"Gladly," the bartender replied and tapped the electronic kiosk twice. He then turned to refill another patron's glass but kept his eye on the brewing altercation.

"You seem to have forgotten about the part where he saved us all," Garrus' mandibles tensed, and he narrowed his eyes. "Or have you got that short of a memory?"

"My memory's just fine. In fact, it's so good that I heard _you_ were investigating one of our own kind. Trying to bury Saren, huh?"

"Only because he was so far gone that he didn't care about us all anymore. He allied himself with the Geth and a Reaper-"

"What rot," the first insulting turian sneered. "Clearly, you're into that human moron Shepard's illusion, too?"

Garrus' fists began to ball up, and he slammed one of them on the wooden bar. "You wanna take this outside?"

"Hey, easy, Garrus." Jacob's hand covered the turian's shoulder. "Calm down."

Garrus withdrew his fist and gladly took a drink to do so.

"Here's to the Normandy, the best ship in the galaxy with the finest crew this side of the Milky Way!" Donnelly rose his glass up in a cheer with the rest of his mates.

"The Normandy!" They all shouted and did the same.

"The Normandy? Wasn't that ship shot down?" The turian with the jade face paint walked over to Donnelly with his drink in his hand.

"You must be mistaken, laddy." Donnelly's voice stayed tranquil as he drank his beer.

"No, I'm not, you over-sized ape, I'm a consultant with the Hierarchy-one who just happened to build it! How could there be another Normandy?"

"They rebuilt another one, that's how," Hawthorne piped in.

"That's bullshit. The Alliance doesn't have money like that to burn anymore. Where did this other…" The turian glanced upon the humans' uniforms. "Cerberus! If you want to keep your life, you'll get the hell off of this station and into Terminus space!"

"We're not with Cerberus anymore," Jacob informed him.

"Right. And I can grow hair out of my ass," the turian jeered. "Well, I'm off duty, anyhow, so don't get so hot and bothered. You can have until tomorrow to get off of the Citadel. You and that cheap, shoddy replica of the Normandy."

Donnelly nearly choked on his ale. "Shoddy?"

"Yeah, that's right. Cerberus probably botched up the whole operation just as badly as the Alliance did the first time. It must be a pretty sobering feeling to be up in space and realize that your safety factor was determined by the lowest bidder on a government contract. Or…ha ha…some worthless human's credits," the turian laughed.

"Would you care to rephrase that, you numpty jackass?"

"Sure." The alien inched himself closer to the engineer and set down his drink on the bar. "I'll even say it slower for you since you seem to have a speech impediment, too."

Donnelly's lips pressed themselves against one another very firmly.

"I said that the Normandy is a fancy over-sized rubbish plant. Or perhaps, it'll do for hauling away the Citadel's rubbish in a couple of months," the turian mocked him.

"What did you just say?" The Scot turned his head around to make eye contact with the turian.

"I said that your ship is a gigantic piece of scrap metal only good for carrying out the garbage!" the turian yelled.

Donnelly could no longer contain himself; his fist made complete contact with the alien's mouth.

"Good. Let's tear these scaly toads limb from limb and see who's the strongest!" Grunt cracked his knuckles and charged into the rest of the turian pack. "Who's got the guts to take me?"

"Oh shit," Taylor covered his face as he saw the turian fall back and shook his head in disbelief. It wasn't long before he retaliated. The rest of the turians all joined in as did the rest of the Normandy crew that was there.

The turian bartender tried to break up the fight as did Jacob, but when he saw that it was useless, he hit something underneath the counter. Most likely, this was a silent alarm for C-Sec, and Jacob grimaced as he saw this happen. This was not what they needed now. The former Alliance soldier stepped away from the brawl and tapped into his radio. "Shepard, come in, Shepard, this is Jacob!"

"I read you, Jacob, what's up?" Shepard came back.

"Well, unfortunately, sir, things are kind of messy here in the Dark Star." He ducked as a bottle nearly hit him in the head. "Whew, that was a close one. How fast can you get here?"

Shepard sighed. "There's been a fight, hasn't there?"

"Yes, sir, and I think that C-Sec might be involved soon if we don't-" Taylor threw up a barrier around himself so that his conversation would not be interrupted. "If we don't hurry. I tried to break it up, but…damnit, Grunt is charging at them again!"

"I'm on my way," Shepard replied. "Just keep everyone safe until I get there."

"Will do, sir. I can't speak for the krogan, though."

* * *

C-Sec Precinct #3, Level 27, the Citadel, 2185, 2207h

After Shepard noticed that the Dark Star Lounge no longer included his crew, he and Tali made their way down to the next level in the ward. As he approached Captain Bailey's terminal, he raised a hand to get the man's attention. "Good, you're here," Bailey acknowledged him with a nod. "I'd rather not have to book everyone and start a whole mess of paperwork. However, there was some damage done to the Dark Star."

"My sincere apologies, Captain Bailey. I'll deal with my crew and restrict them to my ship until it's been completely repaired. Please forward what the Normandy owes you to my executive officer," Shepard told him.

"Don't worry, Shepard, I'll get right back to it after we get back," the quarian assured him.

"We'll talk about that later, Tali, after I deal with this lot," Shepard said and frowned.

"Sergeant, bring out the Normandy crew," Bailey spoke into his console. "Well, how are things?"

"A bit tense, actually. Shore leave was supposed to loosen everyone up." He turned to eye a report being given by Emily Wong on a nearby TV. "Who else was involved in this fight?"

"A few turians from the Hierarchy and some crew on a military frigate. Their captain has already picked them up. I'm sure that the punishments you dole out will be less serious than his."

About twenty seconds later when the C-Sec officer opened the door to release Shepard's crew, he said nothing to them but pointed his arm to the nearest transport station. _I'm gonna get to the bottom of this ASAP. _

He watched them pile into the shuttles four at a time with his hands folded behind his back. _Damn it, I can't wait to hear from Miranda what that grand total of creds for the damage will be._

* * *

Normandy SR-2, Crew Mess, 2185, 2236h

All crew that had been in the Dark Star Lounge lined themselves up facing the medical bay. Shepard began to pace the floor in anticipation towards Miranda's arrival. Even though this was not an official military operation, he still liked to have his second-in-command present so that he would remain objective and for a second opinion if need be. She was nearly the most cool second-in-command officer he'd ever had, with the exception of one corporal he served with back on Torfan.

After hearing her office doors open and seeing her cross the line-up, he stopped and held his restless hands behind his back. "Good. We'll start now," he announced and made eye contact with them all. "All I'm going to ask is this: who threw the first punch? I don't care what started it, who won, or even who got the most amount of hits."

"Really? You should, because it was me, Battle Master," Grunt boasted. "I did the most damage." He lifted both of his arms outward, smacking both Donnelly and Hawthorne in the process. They both flinched but went back to attention.

Shepard walked directly up to him and leaned forward authoritatively. "A smart krogan chooses his fights wisely. Think about that before you go plowing through a pile of turians next time."

The krogan grinned proudly. "Hah, I did, Shepard. None of them were wearing armor."

Shepard crossed his arms and lowered the pitch of his voice. "And that made them worthy of battle, how? I thought you liked a challenge, Grunt. Besides, I know for a fact that Wrex wouldn't approve of your actions; they wouldn't be merited to Clan Urdnot."

There was complete silence from the lineup as the krogan hung his head in shame. Miranda's azure eyes also skimmed throughout the crew for any signs of anxiety or nerves, but there appeared to outwardly be none for the moment. Shepard stepped backward and continued to pace. He was furious with them all for their inappropriate, idiotic, despicable behavior, but knew from past experience that merely shouting at them all would not discourage them from doing it again.

As Shepard walked through the mess, he thought about some of his previous commanding officers. His first one was Major Lucas Chimonas, but Shepard quickly dismissed his respect for him when he found out that the man was both an alcoholic and a pedophile. The idea to beat the man until his kidneys needed replacement did enter his mind, but he reneged the thought when he saw Chimonas publicly apologize to take responsibility for his actions. Two weeks later, the Alliance fired him without severance pay.

The second was Major Walter Kyle; he inspired his soldiers with eloquent speeches but had little to no mercy when it came to disciplinary action. He ordered his officers to give extremely brutal punishments with a cruel smile, and Shepard often wondered if the man were a sadist. When Kyle was not present, Shepard often lessened the sequestrations.

The third and final one was of course, Captain David Anderson. No one could ever measure up to him, and Shepard doubted that he would, either. Anderson exhibited nothing but just actions and led his men by example. Discipline was a point of order but never given without a good reason or as an indirect result of the flack he received from the Alliance brass. Anderson could lose his temper like any human being, but he never allowed it to get the better of him. Shepard made a vow when he received his promotion to 1st lieutenant to emulate Anderson to the best of his ability.

There was no time like the present to remind himself about it.

"No further punishment will be added to the person who comes forward to tell me, and don't tell me that no one here feels pressure. I've been where you are. And when I didn't own up to a mistake or report a fellow mate for wrongdoing, I felt like an absolute bastard. Worked myself up into a guilt complex once," he continued.

Hawthorne's mouth opened slightly but then closed as Shepard approached him. "Or if the person who did it will step forward, then we can clear the air right now, and no one can be accused of ratting someone out." Shepard eyed Hawthorne carefully and then moved down the line, studying upon each crew member. As he turned back slightly to give Miranda a sidelong glance, she tilted her head subtly to the left and motioned with her eyebrows for him to take a look at Donnelly, who was fidgeting. He gave her a nod of thanks and turned away. "Thank you, gentlemen, that'll be all from you for now. You're all confined to the Normandy until further notice, and I'd like to see Mr. Taylor as well as Engineer Donnelly privately."

When the others left, Shepard said a few words to Miranda in confidence, and she departed their company to re-enter her office. "Let's talk for a bit, gents," Shepard said and gestured to his men to follow.

They walked into the starboard observatory. Both soldier and engineer stood at attention as the doors closed, and Shepard waved them off as he strolled in after them. "Sit down, fellas." He motioned to the couches and both men sat down across from Shepard. "Now, Donnelly, what happened?"

"Sir, I don't know what you're-" Donnelly began, but then shook his head despondently. "I'm a horrible liar, I know. Aye, I was the one who threw the first punch; it wasn't the krogan."

"Might I ask what incited the whole thing? It was a disagreement with some turians, right?"

"Aye, sir, it was. We were having a quiet drink, all of us. Zaeed started to tell a story about an asari he dated once, and one scoundrel insulted her. We kept our cool then. Then another one insulted you, sir."

"Me?" Shepard inquired with the slight raise of an eyebrow.

"Mmm…yes, sir. He called you vapid and bone-headed. Both Grunt and Garrus wanted to defend you, but we still kept our cool, Commander."

"Then what, Donnelly, did the turians say that was absolutely unforgivable?"

"They called the Normandy a rubbish plant!" Donnelly's voice went up in volume.

"A what?"

"They said that the Normandy was only fit to haul away someone's garbage! I just couldn't let that one go, sir!"

Shepard's mouth trembled as he desperately tried to hide a smile. "I see. So that's when it all started."

"Aye, sir, it was a matter of pride. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Well, we'll see when the Normandy's up and running, huh? In the meantime, Engineer Donnelly, you are also confined to your quarters and the ECR until further notice, with the exception of mealtimes in the mess, of course," Shepard ordered with a grin.

"Aye, sir, and thank you!" Donnelly gave him a full set of teeth smile and hopped up from the couch. "I'll get to work on the drive core right away!"

"Negative, Donnelly. Go to bed, and that's an order." The Scottish engineer obeyed and departed the room. Shepard kneaded his forehead with his fingers and leaned forward with a deep exhale into his palms. "Maybe I should just send everyone on furlough until the engineers get this all sorted out," he exclaimed into his hands.

"If it makes you feel any better, sir, nobody drew any weapons. And thankfully, the only damage done to the Dark Star was a couple of cheap bottles of liquor," Jacob reassured him.

"Maybe if I'd been there, the fight wouldn't have even broken out. I could have sent Tali by herself for those parts."

"Yeah, but she wouldn't have been able to get that famous Shepard discount," the black man chuckled. "Do they still play those recordings every time you walk into those stores? You know, the ones that say 'I'm Commander Shepard, and this is my favorite store on the Citadel'?"

"I refused to do that one at the gift shop." Shepard's hands dropped from his face as he laughed at himself. "That was just too silly for a tourist trap."

"Yeah, no doubts there, Shepard. I'm sorry that I couldn't break up the scrape any sooner. Those turians get serious real quick, and Grunt, well, there's almost no way to stop a krogan without a nuke being involved…"

"You can say that again. Maybe it's because his quarters are so small…you know, for a krogan. I oughta send him back to Tuchanka and let him work out his aggression there."

The doors opened as Miranda walked in. "Thought I mind find you two here," she mused and placed a hand on her hip.

"On that note, think I'll call it a night," Jacob announced and arose.

"Don't go, I'll only be a minute," she told him. "Shepard, Mordin says that the earliest he can get here is tomorrow afternoon. He's got a family function to attend in the morning. Seems that his nephew won a fertility contract negotiation."

"Crap, by that time, those zalawa things'll be coming out of the main guns. Oh well. Maybe I'll get a brilliant idea if I sleep on it tonight," Shepard grumbled.

"Sleep well, you two," Miranda said and left as quickly as she had come.

Shepard's face wrinkled into disappointment, and he shook his head dejectedly.

"Guess I need to drop a more obvious hint next time."

"Not having a mother leaves a bigger hole than most people think," Jacob agreed. "Once she gets working on something, it's damned hard to pull her off of it."

"I appreciate that about her, but…sometimes I just want her to act more like a woman!"

"Hey, man, let her know what you want. Night." Taylor took off.

* * *

*Author's Notes*-Hope this was worth the wait. I couldn't resist using the famous bar scene where Scotty (or in this case Donnelly) lost his temper. Please do keep those reviews coming. I do aim to please, and should I miss, then please do let me know. Thank you very much to all for reading.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Normandy SR-2, Miranda's Office, 2185, 829h

After finishing another mundane breakfast, Shepard followed Miranda into her office with a tray of coffee. He carried it with one hand on top of his shoulder much like a professional waiter would. However, after she slid her chair away from her desk and nearly sat on top of a zalawa, it became all the more difficult to carry as he tried extremely hard not to snicker out loud. The whole tray shook, and as she heard the china clattering about in his hands, her head snapped up to give him a wordless glare.

"The nearly perfect Miss Lawson isn't going to lose her cool now, is she?" Shepard smiled and set down the tray upon her desk.

"She just might if the Commander would mind his manners," Miranda returned with a raised eyebrow and flicked the animal off of her seat with the wave of her wrist as if it were a speck of dust.

"Albeit that he used to be a rough and calloused Alliance marine, it'll be a difficult task. How would you like your coffee, Miss Lawson?"

"Today, since she expects it to be a long and tedious one, as black and unadulterated as it can be." She finally sat down and gladly accepted the cup he had already begun to pour.

Shepard then filled his own cup, added some sugar to it, and then relaxed himself on her couch with one leg lying on top of the other. "So what does Miss Lawson have on the schedule for us today, besides ridding ourselves of these repugnant creatures?"

"First of all...the thick and over-bearing horrible English accent's got to go. I can't take it any more...not before my first cup, anyhow. Secondly, Chambers should be coming to see me just before nine, so stay for a bit longer, and thirdly, I'll inspect the Elcor rose to make sure that it's receiving the proper treatment that it should."

"You think of everything, don't you?"

"Someone's got to keep things in line while we're not blasting enemies away. Speaking of, I noticed that Garrus mentioned that he needs an upgrade on the Thanix cannon calibration software. Should I make a trip to Saronis Applications this morning?" She brought the steamy beverage to her lips, and after taking a drink, she noticed that he was staring out her window in another world. "Something on your mind, Shepard?"

"Well, actually, I might need a bit more of this before I can arrange my words properly. The thoughts are all there, you see…they're just sort of…jumbled," Shepard pointed to his own coffee and consumed some more.

"How is it that the most eloquent man I know that can make these speeches that persuade the most dangerous and evil people or aliens to follow him into Hades itself suddenly lacking the proper words to say to his second-in-command?"

"Have you ever heard me give one of those before 9 a.m.?"

She was in the middle of a drink and nearly snorted the coffee out of the cup into the saucer. "True. But that wasn't my point," Miranda pressed.

"Well, maybe it's just because I'm better at speaking to groups and not one-on one conversations…"

"That's complete rubbish and you know it."

"All right, maybe so." He finished his coffee, got up, set the cup onto the tray, and sat down on her bed across from her. Miranda rotated herself away from the desk and although she had nothing in her coffee, she began to stir the black liquid with a spoon. Shepard nervously ran his fingers over his unkempt chin."What are your plans when we leave the Citadel? I mean, you'll want to visit your sister sometime, if not today or tomorrow…" he inquired.

"You're asking what I plan to do in the months to come?"

"Yeah," he nodded.

"I don't have anything nailed down yet, so to speak. I do have plenty of contacts in Cerberus that I might be able to lure away for our cause, hmm…and I'd be a complete fool if I did it from the Normandy," Miranda began. "Only the Illusive Man knows that I resigned; I should make use of those resources while I still have the ample opportunity."

"Because of EDI's connection, right? I thought we severed that."

"We can't be sure of all her firewalls. I know I destroyed all the bugs and monitoring devices-"

"All of them?"

"Shepard, I was the one who placed all of them myself. And yes, to answer your earlier question, that's a reason why I chose deck four, because I knew that that was where there was too much noise and frequency interference."

He chuckled. "Here I thought it was because of, well…the…vista…and the uh…environmental…uh..."

"That was a bonus, although, truthfully, I wouldn't have minded if Joker had put us into sub-light speed." She also finished her cup but then poured herself more and continued to stir it. "I think the crew might have been able to wait another ten minutes. Selfish, I know, but, I like to take my time with things I enjoy." With that, she gave him another wink, which made him shift around uncomfortably for a few moments. Then he regained his courage and let his eyebrows do the talking with a few quick movements.

"I was wondering if you've enjoyed the fruits of your labor," he replied. "All that hard work had to pay off some day, didn't it?" His eyes left hers and went down to her bust line. A rogue grin formed at the corners of his mouth as a very unique daydream began to run through his mind, and he didn't hear the office's door sensor beep.

The door to her office suddenly opened, which made Shepard hop off of the bed, and Chambers strolled inside. "Good morning," she greeted them.

"Same to you," Shepard returned as coolly as he could. His testosterone levels did not lessen as much as he hoped, and he chose to stand behind Miranda's seat for obvious reasons.

"Yes, good morning," Miranda said. "Yeoman, you sent me a message late last night about a concern you had…"

"Well, it's about the problem that seems to have come aboard the Normandy, and I wanted to apologize for it," Chambers confessed. "If I hadn't brought the zalawa aboard…"

"We would still be stuck here, Kelly, thanks to Garrus' itchy trigger finger. Don't worry, we'll get rid of them soon enough," Shepard encouraged her. "It could be a helluva lot worse. They're not eating away at our food or causing people to itch. Maybe a handful of people are suffering from animal allergies, but Dr. Chakwas informed me that they'll all be fine. Was that all, Yeoman, or is there other business?"

"You have unread messages at your terminal. Tali seems to be overworking herself; I fear that she might be losing sleep over these repairs. You might want to have a word with her. I'll be at my station should you need me, sir."

"Thank you, Chambers, dismissed," the commander responded with a curt nod. She departed the office, once again leaving the two of them alone.

Shepard refilled his coffee cup again and reclined himself on the couch. Surprisingly, Miranda arose from her chair and joined him. "So where were we?" he inquired.

"I think we were starting to talk about where I would be going after I visit Oriana," Miranda replied serenely. "And Illium sounds like a place as good as any other for me to pick up some of my contacts. Hmm…perhaps not, the Illusive Man might anticipate that..."

"What about Hagalaz? I mean…Liara could likely use some help…"

"I work better on my own, Shepard," she shook her head. "And so does she."

"How long would you be gone?" He took a sip from his cup and made eye contact with her.

"Impossible to say, really. I'll make an encoded relay for us to talk on whenever you'd like." His expression dimmed. "What's wrong?"

"Maybe the engineers shouldn't be so quick to finish their repairs."

"Why do you say that? The docking fees here aren't exactly free."

"I've been hoping to…-" Before Shepard could finish, Engineer Donnelly suddenly burst into her office.

"Sorry, Commander, Miss Lawson, but I'm hearing shotgun blasts coming from the sub-deck. I think Jack's gone mad!" he exclaimed.

"Perfect," Shepard grunted, and Miranda merely rolled her eyes. Both of them abandoned their coffee and marched quickly to the elevator.

* * *

Normandy SR-2, Sub-deck level, 2185, 908h

"Fly, bitch!" the ex-con screamed as she pulled some of the zalawas towards her and let another blast fire from her shotgun. Shepard, Tali, Miranda, and Jacob all came down the stairs carefully. While Miranda, Tali, and Jacob kept their distance, Shepard was the only one who actually dared to even approach her within ten feet. As she heard his footsteps, she whirled around with the gun.

He jumped back slightly and raised his hands. "Everything all right down here, Jack?" he asked.

"Why shouldn't it be?" she demanded. "Just doing a little spring cleaning with the Cerberusbitchinator. Don't know what these fuckers are, but I'm tired of them dropping down and hitting me in the face while I'm tryin' to get some goddamned sleep!" She paused and examined the others. "What brings the alien, cheerleader, and the scuzzball here? Got nothing better to do?"

"Is it possible that you could just use your biotic powers only to destroy these things?" Tali wondered. "I know they're inconvenient; I keep finding them burrowing into the aft capacitors."

"Engineer Donnelly said that there were shots being fired down here. We just wanted to make sure everything was safe," Jacob shrugged.

"Well, I'm just peachy. Now fuck off," Jack snapped back.

"Actually, he meant the ship." Miranda gave her a peeved look when she realized what the derogatory meaning was behind Jack's nickname for her shotgun. "You should be more careful with that thing."

"What part of 'fuck off' didn't you get?" Jack took a step closer to her.

Miranda's head whipped towards Shepard. "Shepard, these bullets could ricochet and hit something valuable to our vacuum system. Or perhaps shooting these creatures would release a toxin. It isn't safe to let her keep firing blindly about." Her eyes then locked with Jack's.

Shepard briefly imagined smoke beginning to pour out of both women's ears as the tension grew. _If this weren't my ship, I'd almost enjoy-_

"Oh, I'm about to stop firing _blindly_ about, you bitch!" Jack slung the shotgun around to aim at her, and Tali immediately fled up the stairs without another protest. "And I've been just _waiting _to do this since I got onboard the Normandy."

_Damn, things are not calming down. _"Okay, let's just calm down here." Shepard started to raise his voice in volume.

"Ha, I dare you." Miranda's lips curled into a sneer, and anger began to swell up within her as did her powers. "But you're not fast enough for biotics, obviously, because it takes an evenly balanced mind to control them. You'd rather take the faster way out with your gun because you can't focus your dim-witted brains long enough to muster up a field!"

Jack's implant also began to fire up, and she threw the shotgun to the floor. "I'm gonna shove your head so far up your ass that you'll be using _that_ to blow Shepard!"

"Now just wait a minute, you two!" Shepard yelled at the top of his lungs. That apparently didn't stop either woman from building up her energy.

"Hey, ladies, relax!" Jacob also shouted. Neither biotic woman paid him any mind. In the meanwhile, more zalawas began to keep raining down from various pipes and holes. Before either man had time to react, the stray pieces of furniture, data pads, and other belongings of Jack's began to swirl around the sub-deck as Miranda and Jack prepared to deliver a blow to one another. It was nearly as fierce as the deadlock that Samara and her daughter Morinth got into, and Shepard remembered quite vividly how that fight ended. He did not want either woman to die or severely injure the other. Words did not seem like they were going to have the impact they did the first time these two had a row.

After more than one stray data pad clipped either former Alliance marine in the back of the head or on the side of the face, Shepard decided to take some action. He noticed that Jacob was quite near Jack, and that he was closer to Miranda. He gave his a colleague one, two, three sign, and Jacob nodded with understanding.

The second time Shepard made the gesture, both men seized the ladies to separate them. Jacob grabbed Jack in a headlock, and Shepard was bit more classy. He seized her by the arm and forced it downward with his own biotics. Naturally, the two women fought against their captors.

Shepard moved first this time, crouched down slightly, and swept Miranda off of her feet onto his shoulder. "Let's go, you," he growled and headed slowly up the stairs.

"Lemme go, asshole!" Jack thundered and started to charge up her powers again. Thankfully, by this time, Shepard and Miranda were already gone, so Jacob released her. "You're lucky I don't tear you apart here and now," she told him.

"Yeah, well, count your blessings that Shepard hasn't thrown one of those Ochrana devices on ya. Think he's still got one from Cerberus upstairs," Taylor smirked. "Mordin never injected _you _with the countermeasure he made, did he?"

"Whatever, scuzzball," Jack huffed and picked up one of the data pads on the floor. "And don't worry about touching the Cerberusbitchinator. I'll take care of it from now on."

"Fine with me." He shrugged and left.

* * *

Two minutes later, the elevator…

"Shepard, this is ridiculous…" Miranda seethed.

"You don't set one foot on the ground yet…not until you blow off some steam," Shepard shook his head. A part of him actually liked doing this. It reminded him of the days when men ruled over Earth. They weren't necessarily better times…just interesting to read about in the history books.

"You're being totally absurd; stop treating me like a child," she hissed and he felt her tense as she began to charge up her biotics again.

"Stop acting like one…like Jack…and be the stronger woman who I know you are, and we'll call it even." With that response, she relented, and he gently set her back down on her feet. "I have to admit, though, this second conflict is kind of making me wonder what in the hell set off the first one."

"You heard that one…as usual, Jack was making wild allegations and leaps of logic." Miranda shrugged as they got off of the lift on the crew deck level.

"Yeah, but I mean someone must have said something pretty bad. It's not like you to lose your cool like that, even with Jack."

Miranda shook her head and motioned for him to follow her again into her quarters, which he did. She waited until the doors closed before uttering another word about the situation. "She accused me of sleeping my way to the top of Cerberus, for one thing. That was…below the belt, so to speak," she explained and frowned as she noticed the fresh gash on the side of his face.

"Then what happened?"

"Nothing much more than when you walked in. Let's just say that my response wasn't exactly flattering." Miranda opened a desk drawer, unscrewed a lid from a jar of medi-gel, and smeared a tiny bit on her thumb.

"Oh, come on, Miranda." He gave her a debonair smile and crowded her personal space. "Tell me what you said, and maybe I'll show you what I can do with the other parts of my body with biotics."

"That's hardly in the same league," Miranda scoffed and rolled her thumb across his cheek. "However, said offer is up for some consideration."

"Quid pro quo, Ms. Lawson." He snagged her hand and inserted her index finger into his mouth. Less than a second later, she felt a tinge of current surge out from his tongue to his lips. He then quickly released her with a boyish grin.

His actions did not necessarily have the desired effect he was hoping for; she merely closed her eyes and opened them. "The battle between your will and mine is a matter of patience-and I'm afraid it's one you're going to sorely lose, Shepard." Miranda screwed the lid back on the medi-gel jar, replaced it, and closed the desk drawer. She lifted her fingers up to fondle his beard a few times, gave him a slight "sting" of her own, and then turned to leave. "I'll go check on that rose now if there's nothing more, Commander. And I'd think about shaving before attempting to seduce me again. Five o'clock shadows don't compliment biotics as much as you'd like to think."

_ Damn you, woman!_

"Indeed, thank you, Miranda," he nodded and returned to the elevator. "And," he cleared his throat. "We'll just see about that."

* * *

Normandy SR-2, Briefing Room, 2185, 1321h

Tali'Zorah, Jacob, Dr. Chakwas, and Shepard met Mordin on the gangway, then beelined straight into what Shepard now liked to call 'purgatory'. Everyone else still called it the briefing or comm room, though, much to his disappointment. "Mordin, Tali said that she sent you Dr. Chakwas' report and a few of her own notes. What do you make of all of this?" Shepard demanded.

"Hmm, lots of data, many theories, what to do," Mordin hummed to himself and began to pace on his side of the table. "Creatures spontaneously replicate themselves every two to four hours regardless of light or darkness. Eating habits unknown...zalawas must get their sustenance from somewhere. Suggest perhaps we remove all fauna and foliage upon the Normandy? The _malaka cannabis_, i.e., the Elcor rose in particular may be producing a chemical to induce propagation."

"And where do you think we should be putting that plant? We don't want to risk a diplomatic incident with the Elcor," Jacob reminded him.

"Perhaps not too far away, like right on the gangway. Will the creatures actually follow the trail of the chemical? Should be interesting to see. Also have another theory, although idea is not at all pleasant."

"Go ahead, Mordin. If removing the plant doesn't do anything, we'll go to plan B. We'll also need a plan C, D, E, and F if none of the above work," Shepard patiently encouraged him. "Hopefully, the shortest distance whatsoever between two of those points will make a line."

"Indeed. If engineers could cut off the heating systems, that might also rid us of our pest problem. What to do with fellow crew members, though…"

"That's easy. Shepard could just tell everyone to get hotel rooms for the night," Tali remarked. "One person would need to stay onboard, of course, to monitor the Normandy. EDI could do it, but.."

"I hear what you're saying, Tali," Shepard nodded. "If we're all far away when there's an immediate response needed, things could turn even far worse than now. How are the repairs coming, by the way?"

"85% done, Shepard. Ten percent of that includes running simulations and testing the reactors at various power ratios, but…"

"So that means another day?"

"I could push it to half a day, but that'd mean that I'd be cutting corners, and especially since neither Donnelly, Daniels, and myself were present for the construction-"

"All right, Tali, you've made your case," Shepard said and raised his hand. "EDI, tell the crew to assemble in the mess, please."

"Of course, Shepard," the AI responded. As Tali, Dr. Chakwas, and Jacob made their way out, Mordin approached Shepard.

"Might I inquire as to how your…um…interlude went?" The salarian's voice went down to a whisper.

"It wasn't long enough, unfortunately," he grimaced. "Either Legion overrode the controls or your construction was flawed. The mood got killed immediately and went as extinct as the Protheans."

"Oh…sorry to hear that. Would you like me to try again?"

"No, but I would ask for you to please get that rubber thing outta here as carefully as possible."

"Commander?"

Shepard pointed his finger toward the research lab. "The plant, Mordin. Doesn't it look like a rubber tree to you?"

"Wouldn't know-that species is alien to Sur'Kesh," Mordin shrugged and retreated back to his lab.

Just before the doors closed, Shepard swore that he heard the salarian begin to hum another Gilbert and Sullivan tune happily to himself. _I think I am gonna miss that guy, no matter what kind of moral disagreements we had._

Shepard went down to the mess hall where the rest of the crew had gathered minus Miranda, who was on the Citadel making a call to her sister. Kasumi was also ashore.

"For approximately one night's time, I'm going to release shore leave to everyone starting at 1700 hours today, and I'll expect everybody to be back onboard by 2000 hours the day after tomorrow evening. Mind you, please use this time wisely. I know we've all been through a lot recently, and I don't think I should have to tell you to mind your p's and q's. It's harder to show restraint than to fight, especially when someone insults you, but I ask you, please, to think first before acting. And if this life isn't for you anymore, I'll understand if you want to make a permanent break from the Normandy. As a reminder, we're not under the Alliance or Cerberus' authority or control, but if you've become unhappy with the current chain of command, it's all right to walk away," he announced to everyone.

"No disrespect intended, sir, but have you gone mad?" Engineer Donnelly questioned him. "Everyone here is 100% behind ya."

"Thank you for your assurance, Donnelly." Shepard paused to think for a moment and then regained his train of thought. "Engineer Tali'Zorah has told me that one person needs to stay aboard the Normandy to monitor her, and that will be me."

"But Shepard-" Tali started.

"The decision is mine to make, and I've made it. The Normandy is home to you all, indeed, but I would prefer that if you all truly still feel that I'm your commander, that you will honor my decision and not question it."

"Expected temperatures will likely exceed sub-zero Celsius and even Fahrenheit, Shepard," EDI told him. "I would recommend wearing your armor or an environmental suit to keep warm. My systems will remain stable at five degrees Celsius but will then require a shutdown once a temperature of negative ten degrees Celsius."

"Thank you, EDI. Crew, dismissed," Shepard replied.

Tali approached him with a careful reserve. "Shepard, I do respect you as my commander and as, well…a great friend, but-"

"Please walk me through the systems restoration process, Tali. I'll need to know this when I've confirmed that I'm the only living being aboard the Normandy."

"Aye, aye, sir," the quarian's tone became depressed.

"Are you worried that I'm going to break something?" he joked with a lopsided grin as they made their way to the lift.

"No! It's just…I was going to volunteer since…I already have an environmental suit, and…you probably need to sleep…-"

As the elevator arrived, they filed inside. Shepard shook his head and pressed the fourth deck button. His rich baritone voice went to a whisper. "Tali, you're the one who needs the rest. Even though I had Miranda remove all the bugs and invasive cameras, I still have eyes and ears aboard the Normandy. You haven't been sleeping for more than four hours a night in the past couple of weeks, even before Garrus slew the dragon."

"I'm sorry?"

He laughed at himself and brought his voice back to a normal conversation level. "That's right, I forget…I'm sure Quarians have mythological creatures, don't you?"

"Sure. We have legends like many other species. What's a dragon?"

"Basically, it's a flying reptile that can breathe fire and smoke out of its nostrils and mouth whenever it wants. They're also about as damned hard to kill as a thresher maw. Whenever our species couldn't find a scientific explanation for why a fire or a rampant disease broke out, we'd invent myths to explain them," Shepard said. "Or we'd say that it was magic." They filed into the lift and Tali pressed the '4' on the touchpad.

"Quarians have done the same thing. We have lots of those, too. But some of the stories have been lost through time since our species was expelled from our home planet."

"Anything like a dragon?"

"Well, there was the tale of a giant monster that could trample the mountains with his two legs and tail as well as cause what I think you would call an 'earthquake' when he jumped. But he could be generous, too, and provide all quarians with trees and…um…moss?" She glanced at him for any correction; when he nodded 'yes', she continued. They strolled out of the elevator and traveled to the ECR next. "Yes, he would provide moss and trees with the touch of his hand. Whenever he would laugh, it'd be windy. And whenever he became slightly irritated, it would thunderstorm and rain."

"What about 'trampling the mountains'?" Shepard wondered.

"That was when he was really angry, and who can really explain why a monster would jump?"

"I think I'd have a better time remembering this if I knew what the name of this monster is."

"Oh, right!" Tali chuckled. "The Quarians call this monster the Lagthma."

"A what?"

"Lagthma."

"Any special meaning? Dragon comes from the Greek word 'drakon', which means 'serpent' or 'snake'."

"I'd have to ask my Aunt Rann," the quarian shrugged. "I'm not sure." As they arrived at the drive core computer, Shepard kept his distance. She laughed and pulled him a bit closer by the hand. "Come on, don't be afraid. I haven't been losing sleep over repairing this like you'd think."

"Right, well, you know how I mix with machines, Tali."

"Oh, yes, I remember how you used to drive the Mako. To tell you the truth, I used to dread when you'd pick me in a mission that required us to go out in it. I learned early on to pay a visit first to the med bay for some motion sickness pills from Dr. Chakwas before getting into that death trap of a vehicle."

"Cute...I'll remember that the next time I pick who goes with me in the Hammerhead," he announced with a smile and crossed his arms. "How long will it take for the heating system to shut down and start back up?"

"Well, that's the thing-I don't know. Earlier this morning, Engineer Daniels and I ran some simulations…"

"Ballpark it, then."

"I'm an engineer, Shepard. I don't 'ballpark' things," Tali held up her fingers in quotation marks. But as she gauged his impatient body language growing ever so slightly, she shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe an hour. No more than two."

"Is that the shutdown time or start-up time?"

"Both," Engineer Daniels announced and joined them. "As for restarting EDI, we're flummoxed; she estimates twenty to thirty minutes."

"Why so long?" Shepard asked. "Isn't EDI a supercomputer?"

"This system has never been shut down, Shepard," the AI replied. "The Reaper IFF virus made an interrupt into my systems; it did not shut me down. That's why and how I was able to instruct Mr. Moreau to tie me into the Normandy's propulsion and navigational systems."

"I see. Well, it's a risk I'll have to take..it's not like I'm going to be put away for making this decision," Shepard nonchalantly shrugged. "I could think of worse places to be stranded than the Citadel."

"I agree," Daniels nodded. "Don't worry, Commander, we won't hold it against you if you make EDI and the Normandy's systems crash. It wasn't your fault the first time this ship nearly got blown to bits."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," he sighed. "All right, Tali, step by step, tell me what I've got to do." He powered up his omni-tool and hit 'record'.

* * *

**Author's Notes: So how many Shepards would it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to do it, and the other to kill the first one and take the credit. (All right, that was for the Renegades). None. He could talk anyone else into doing it. (Had to put in the Paragon option in there.) Hope you all enjoyed the chapter.**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

Normandy SR-2, Crew Mess, 2185, 2141h

The temperatures had now gone from a comfortable twenty-five degrees Celsius at 1730h to an uncomfortable temperature of ten degrees. Shepard could now see his breath and after a quick trip to his quarters to put on a parka, he made his way into the mess to make himself some tea. "Would some music relax you, Shepard?" EDI's voice nearly caused him to jump as he poured the water from a faucet into the kettle.

"No, but I think when you have your next upgrade, I think I'm going to install a chime or bell of some kind that will warn me when you're about to speak," he growled. "It's just unsettling, especially now that I'm by myself."

"You are not alone, Shepard."

"I meant that there were no other species with language abilities aboard."

"You are mistaken, Shepard. Ms Lawson and Ms Goto have entered the Normandy's airlock not thirty seconds ago. They are currently in the elevator on the way down to the crew deck."

"Crap." He smacked himself in the forehead and put the kettle on the burner. Thankfully, he had the presence of mind not to turn it on yet. "Can't believe I forgot to call them." Shepard left the kitchen and hurried over to the elevator. "I'm so sorry, Miranda, Kasumi, I should've called you to tell you-"

"That it's bloody freezing cold and that everyone else has gone ashore?" the Aussie finished angrily for him and crossed her arms to try and keep herself warm. He immediately removed his parka and placed it across her shoulders.

"Not the smartest card to play with a lady, Shep. Communication should be a little better," the thief scolded him. "Sheesh, all that's missing is the snow. What's the idea?" Kasumi shivered, exited the lift, and turned towards him.

"Yeah. I wouldn't blame you if you turned around and left now. This was Mordin's idea, actually...to shut the heat off. I'm staying here to…to…"

Miranda put the coat on herself properly and led him back into the elevator. "You're staying to make sure that the Normandy doesn't fall apart, I know," she said with a slightly less miffed tone. "Well, it's only right that I stay here with you."

"But the cold-"

"Isn't so bad when you've got another person to keep you warm."

"Well, I guess that's my cue to scram," Kasumi laughed and strolled towards her quarters. "Want me to keep the room open for you tonight, Shep?"

"No. Thanks for doing so the other night, by the way, Kasumi," Shepard said.

"My pleasure. I'll just be on my way in a few minutes." _After I satisfy a bit of my own curiosity_, she thought to herself.

Shepard directed his attention back to Miranda. "You're sure you want to stay?"

She gave his hand a squeeze and leaned forward to give him a chaste peck on the cheek. "Don't keep me waiting too long. I'll be down in the starboard observation room," she told him and ran a finger along his jaw. The hair in his beard reacted with her biotics in a brief static discharge and made him slightly flinch backward. "I suggested a shave, didn't I?"

As the elevator door closed, he swore that he saw a cruel smile flicker across her face. Once he arrived in his quarters, Shepard sorted through his closet, found another parka, and donned it as quickly as possible. Remembering Miranda's previous advice, he ran a razor over himself, and slapped a bit of aftershave on his cheeks. The temperature was still dropping. He then hit the call button for the lift. "EDI, unless you've reached your critical shut down temperature, do not disturb us."

"Understood, Shepard," the AI responded neutrally. "Would you like some music this evening for your entertainment?"

"Ah, no thank you. Oh, and as a matter of pure curiosity, has Miss Goto left the Normandy yet?"

"The port side airlock has not opened nor closed since both Ms. Lawson or Ms. Goto entered, Shepard."

He grinned and stepped into the elevator. "Maybe I'll just give her a show."

Suddenly, a cloaking field discharged and Kasumi touched his arm. He yelped in surprise and staggered into the wall. "Would you stop doing that, damn it?"

"Ha ha, serves you right for not calling a girl and practically making her walk through Siberia," she joked.

"Fair enough," Shepard shrugged and crossed his arms. "Exactly how many private moments have I actually had with Miranda, by the way?"

"I wouldn't exactly call the engine room 'private', Shep."

"I meant behind closed doors…specifically Lawson's?"

"I might have taken a peek or two. What's the big deal? Everyone knows about you two; you're kidding yourselves if you think otherwise."

"Uh-huh." He leaned against the elevator door and pressed the '3' on the keypad. "Noticed you've been cleaning house recently in your quarters. You gonna jump ship while you've got the chance?"

"Mmm," she nodded and punched in the '2'. "That's why I was coming to see you, as a matter of fact. It's been fun, Shep. You ever need me again, contact the Shadow Broker."

"Going underground, huh?"

"Yeah. I'd give you the number from my omni-tool, but it looks like I'll have to buy a new one soon. And another one to replace that in a month."

"Can't you just buy a scrambler?"

Kasumi shook her head. "That's why I'm the master thief and you're the soldier, Shep. Take care of yourself. And remember what I said about Miranda."

"You might want to repeat that advice to her. I damn near got the wind knocked outta me a few times."

"Oh, please. You know you liked it." She got off and blew him a kiss. "Good luck in there tonight, Don Juan."

About ten minutes later, Shepard entered the starboard observatory with two mugs full of boiling hot tea and found that Miranda had set up a small shelter for the two of them. She left the front part unzipped facing the window and gladly accepted the mug of tea he handed her. "Where'd this come from?" he inquired and pointed to the tent.

"Life support system closet next to the port observation room. There are also two of these included in the Normandy shuttle. I'm guessing that you didn't read the manual that came with it," Miranda responded.

"There was a manual?"

She rolled her eyes. "Of course, in the front glove compartment. Thankfully, we already have a pilot and won't need to rely on you. " She inserted a finger into the tea to test its temperature. "I've heard about your…creative…maneuvering with all terrain vehicles."

"So who blabbed? The turian or the quarian?" Shepard chortled and joined her inside the tent.

"Neither, actually. Dr. T'Soni and I met before we recovered your body. Some days the only thing keeping her going was talking about you."

"You worked together to find me?"

"You could say that." She took a long sip from the mug before continuing on. "Most of the time, I thought that all asari are alike…so supercilious and nearly eternal. But Liara's quite different from the rest; I could see why you were attracted to her."

"That's in the past.." He paused to drink some more tea and gather up his thoughts. "She's a different person now…-"

"That would concur with Feron. She'd lose her focus very easily in the beginning; it was up to the two of us to steady her," Miranda responded gently. "One thing that would get her laughing was remembering how you drove, though."

"That's because the damn thing was so sensitive! Every time I even touched the steering wheel, the vehicle would practically flip over!" he exclaimed and gulped down more tea from his mug as well. She withheld a bout of laughter as she pretended to wipe her mouth; he caught her smirk and rolled his eyes. "All right, smarty pants, if you were to build an all-terrain vehicle, would you install the clutch right next to the accelerator?"

"No, I wouldn't. But I would also have had the common courtesy to at least include some vomit bags to the undersides of the passenger seats if that were the case."

"Well, anyway, as they say, any excursion that you can walk away from is a good one. Or was that a landing?" He had expected her to quip something back in response, but when she didn't, he cleared his throat nervously. "Anyhow, what I meant to say was that I really am enjoying the view…from here…"

"Windows are structural deficiencies, but they can also provide some psychological relief for any sort of species." Shepard's gaze shifted from space to her profile. "Hence the one in my office." She caught his eyes and turned her head towards him. "Or were you talking about something else?"

_ Why now? Why do I turn into a complete moron when I'm talking to her about us? I won her over a long time ago…it shouldn't be this hard to tell her how I feel!_

"Someone, actually," he finally said aloud. "I'm glad I didn't make that call."

"That makes two of us." Miranda finished her tea, put the mug down, and opened the sleeping bag all the way. "I know you've been wanting to finish that moment we started in the other room yesterday…"

_ Please don't say you're not in the mood. Please don't say you're not in the mood._

"And so have I," she announced with a seductive leer.

A wave of peace hit him like a tsunami, and he took that moment to blow on his tea as if it were too hot to drink. The temperature in the Normandy was cooling down even more, but Shepard didn't seem to notice it was much now. He decided that it was time to play aloof, since she was the one who brought it up. "Oh, well, that was just a quick spontaneous thought," Shepard said casually, waving his hand.

Miranda snorted. "Spontaneous? From EDI's logs of your private terminal time, you spent at least a good two hours selecting music."

"She was supposed to have kept that information secret." He bit his lip.

"Oh, she did. I just found it last night while I was cleaning through her server files, which by the way, were anomalously blocked from my account." She removed her boots and tossed them outside the tent. "But you might not want to pull the same trick again-got a mind like a steel trap, you know."

"Is there anything I can't hide from you?" He drained the remainder of his tea and also took off his armored greaves. "Scratch that…I don't care. That's why I fell for you…" The gauntlets came off next as well as his gloves.

"Care to put some action behind those words, Shepard?"

"Thought you'd never ask." Shepard reached for her and pulled her onto his lap. "The brilliant scientist who brought me back from the void." He slid his arms around her waist and trailed them up and down her back slowly underneath the parka in opposing directions. "And you're tactful, whereas I'd just barge in with guns blazing away."

She undid the straps from his shoulder pads, dropped each one on the floor, and next went for his chest plate until he poked a finger playfully in her side. Miranda jumped and yelped slightly but did not falter from her task.

"You once told me that you see a fire in me, Miranda. But I see dedication burning in you. The courage you had to leave your father stuns me like a biotic charge. And I know now that no other woman in the galaxy can ever make me feel the way you do."

The chest plate now lay in a pile somewhere near the shoulder pads.

"I never want to hear a man say that women wear too much clothing," she commented with a sigh and reached behind him to undo his gun rack. "But I'll never chide you for wearing too little armor with the way you operate in battle."

"I'd be lying if I said that I fell for you when we met. And you know, being a soldier…I've handled just about every single weapon a human being possibly could, but the most powerful of them all is when a human soul is on fire…and in love."

"You're such a sap, I swear." Miranda tossed her head back slightly and directed his head down in between her breasts where she knew it was warm. "But now that you mention it, I never knew what it meant to be appreciated for all that I am; you're the one who made me see it. The Illusive Man saw me as an asset just like my father; I had thought that he was different because he gave me a tremendous amount of freedom with my assignments. And here, he probably just wanted to stroke my ego." She shook her head. "It's sickening now that I think of how he manipulates everyone-can't say that it didn't rub off on me occasionally."

"Can I ask you about him? Your father, I mean?"

"He owns a conglomerate of defense contracting companies back home on Earth. I haven't spoken to him since I was sixteen, and I won't do so again unless I'm at his grave."

"His grave? He must've been a real bastard if you say that he never let you have any friends and paid off Niket to get your sister back." She lifted his head from her bosom and arose so she could straddle him. His momentary worry subsided as she returned to his lap and ran her hands underneath his parka. He hummed with pleasure as he felt the tingling sensation of her biotics come to life and soothe over his aching lower back. Until recently, he had never given much thought for their use outside of the battlefield. Supposedly, Mordin had given him relationship booklets with what he called 'inventive uses of mass effect fields', but Shepard ignored them. He liked to think that he wasn't exactly a novice in the art of making love. However, finding new ways to satiate Miranda might prove useful in the future. A few moments later, Shepard continued. "And if he tries to find out where she is, I'll-"

"I don't really want to talk about him," Miranda interrupted Shepard and gently pushed him on his back. "In fact, let's not talk about anything else," she said and leaned closer to his lips.

"No arguments from me, ma'am," Shepard agreed. Just as she was about to seal their lips together, he leaned slightly to one side and flipped the both of them so that he was on top. His fiery mouth burned upon hers so hard that she gasped when he broke away.

It was getting so cold now that Miranda became desperate. She pulled him back by his parka's lapels, and thankfully, during this kiss, Shepard had the presence of mind to zip the tent shut. He made short work of her own parka by shoving it off of her shoulders as she did his; they did this marvelously without breaking their kiss.

Miranda finally tore herself away to frantically pull his parka off as well, and he suddenly seized her hands to force them to her sides. "Just wait a second, Miss Lawson. Lemme finish what I started last time," he commanded.

"But what about-"

"Screw the damned AI. You mean more to me than this ship, and damn it, if it takes all night, I'm gonna prove it to you. Now slow down."

Although Miranda was a bit worried about EDI, she knew that they at least had an hour before it was critical that they shut her down. "Right, but if you expect me to lie still here like a gunny sack, then you're sorely mistaken," she informed him.

"I expect anything _but_ that, Miss Lawson." Shepard released his grip from her arms, sat her up, and got on his knees behind her.

"What're you-" she began but stopped when she felt each of his thighs on her sides. He slipped his fingers through her scalp and gently pulled her backward toward his lips for a slow and hungry kiss. His busy right hand wasted no more time, crept down her neck, and slid the zipper of her top down.

"Aren't you clever?" Miranda broke away to laugh, but he drew her back again.

Trapped once more in his kiss, she found his hands wander down once more and pull her top completely down. This time, after he'd completed his sneaky task, she caught his hands and tore herself away from his lips. "Gotcha." Although using her biotics to hold him off was almost considering cheating, Shepard didn't seem to care.

"Hmm…challenge accepted, Miss Lawson," he whispered into her left ear and hovered round her.

"Your wandering hands have been subdued, Commander Shepard. Just what do you intend to do now?"

"I don't need my hands to give you pleasure." Without another moment to lose, he dove for the front of her neck and attacked it with both vigor and restraint. One moment he was sucking her skin, and the next, his teeth carefully nipped the next spot. The worst part of it was that he kept changing angles; he'd never stay in the same place twice. "Oh, all right, all right, I give, I give," she laughed and let go of his hands.

Once those were back in his possession, he stopped his brutal assault upon her neck. He then guided his right hand down to her side, brought her left arm up, released his right hand, and sneaked his head in between her arm and head. Shepard bent over her, slid his hand inside of her brazier, lifted her left breast slightly, and hunched himself completely over her so that he could kiss at least the top part of it.

She slouched down a bit further and closed her eyes with a heavy sigh. When he heard her sigh of pleasure, he grinned, pulled away slightly, and forced the straps down. "Shepard, I know you'd like to build a home here, but…" Miranda began, turned around, and tugged him on top of her so that they were both on the tented floor now. "It's really damned cold," she finished.

He kissed her tenderly this time and propped himself up a bit to let her unzip the polymer nano-suit. She broke away from him to shove the suit off of his shoulders, and he wriggled to free his torso from it. Once he was out, he immediately recaptured her lips again as if he'd been away from them for days. Miranda's hands cupped his jaw as she returned his passion.

"I'd not only make _one_ home there. Wish I could afford a winter bungalow as well; but on an Alliance marine's salary…" Shepard teased and trailed his way down her neck and chest back down to her bosom.

"Hmm, we might be willing to…" she inhaled sharply, "offer a discount."

"I'm all ears." He continued to slide himself down her body and removed the rest of her clothing. "Make me an offer."

"For God's sake, Shepard, please…" Crackles of biotic energy shot out from his tongue on her alabaster neck, eliciting another moan of pleasure from her. Her fingers wrenched themselves into his hair, then fell down to her sides. She clawed them next into his back when he wrapped his arms around her and teased her clavicle, her own biotics sending minute currents into his muscles.

"Ahh…does my XO have any other desires?"

"Yes, goddamn it…it's bloody freezing! Get on with it!" With that last exclamation, she seized him by the head and neck up to her lips again. Shepard squeezed her smaller body against his even tighter, returning her fervor. The Normandy's sub-zero temperatures did not seem to bother its commander nor its second-in-command for the next hour.

* * *

Normandy SR-2 ECR, 2185, 827h

Once again dressed warmly in his armor and parka, Shepard finished his scan of the Normandy's fourth deck. He stood in front of Tali's computer, pulled up the recording he had made with her on his omni-tool, and booted it up.

"EDI seems to be just fine," Miranda told him as she suddenly appeared behind him with two mugs of coffee. He nearly jumped but kept his feet on the ground. "Hmm...perhaps I shouldn't be giving you this."

"Withhold my caffeine from me, my feisty wench, and it's off to the scullery with ya," Shepard gibed in his best pirate accent and reached for the mug.

She shook her head at his odd humor and gave it to him. "You wouldn't want me cooking. Now, I've also scanned the rest of the ship. I'm not sure if the zalawas are deceased or in a state of hibernation. However, I'm pleased to say that they have not multiplied since last evening. In other news, The Dark Star has asked for an exorbitant sum of credits for the damage. They were quite thorough with the invoice, though."

"Jacob said that they only broke a few bottles." Shepard reached for her gloved hand and brought it to his lips briefly.

"I'd trust him implicitly at my side in a fight but never with money." Miranda disagreed and stroked his cheek.

He groaned. "I don't wanna know how much it is right now."

"I'm not suffering for credits right now, Shepard, if you'd like…-"

He poured the steamy beverage down his throat. "Thank you, Miranda, but the Normandy crew is my responsibility. Even you." Shepard paused to steer the conversation back to a previous topic. "So out of all those wonderful traits your father gave you, none of those include gastronomy?"

A few tense moments passed after he phrased his remark, prompting a wintry glare from Miranda. Hoping to redeem himself, he shrugged and lifted up the mug. "But you do make good coffee, love, so that's a start." Shepard listened to Tali's first few sentences and was about to start to type on the holographic keyboard when Miranda touched his shoulder.

"I've got an idea of how to terminate these pests, but it means that we'll both have to leave the Normandy."

"How's that?" he inquired and turned around to face her.

She also took a sip of her coffee, put it down on the console, and situated herself in front of the ECR's computer. "If we shut down the Normandy's oxygen for a whole day…"

"I don't feel comfortable with leaving the Normandy for that long."

"We can come back and check on it in intervals."

"Okay, but can you hold off on it for about twenty more minutes?"

"Why's that?"

"Two reasons. Number one: coffee's not finished." He pointed to his head, drained some more of his java, and set the mug down next to hers.

"And the other one?" She folded her arms across her chest.

Shepard seized hold of her waist, causing her to slightly gasp, and pulled her close. "Feel like re-living a fond memory?"

"You're incorrigible," she laughed and gave him a playful shove across his pectoral muscles.

"But so adorable, I know," he chuckled, bent down slightly, and swept her off of her feet in his arms in a cradle.

"Just so we're on the same page, Shepard…when do those twenty minutes officially start?" Miranda's biotic field began to enrapture both of their bodies in a sapphire luminesce.

"Did I say twenty minutes?" He set her back down on her feet once they were inside the drive core.

Miranda grasped him by the back of his head and pressed her lips to his. "Mmm…" was all she could muster in response. As his mouth opened slightly to allow her access, he felt a phantom hand stroke his nether regions, even through his thick armor.

He pulled away slightly, just enough so she could understand. "Make it thirty. As I recall, a certain Aussie was complaining about how long it took to remove said body armor."

"Who said anything about removing all of it?"

"Well, I-"

"Shut up, we've only got twenty-nine minutes left." She sealed their lips again.

* * *

C-Sec HQ, the Citadel, Serpent Nebula, 2185, 927h

"I can't believe you're insisting upon bringing that thing." Miranda rolled her eyes as they stepped into the docking bay lift. The Elcor rose had grown to enormous proportions and now was taller than Shepard. He struggled to keep his balance while tilting the plant slightly sideways to fit into the elevator. "You could've just left it at the gangway-there's artificial sunlight there."

"But no water supply," Shepard replied. "What'll happen to it if we don't give it water for one day?"

She shrugged nonchalantly. "We still don't know why supposedly half the galaxy loves this plant. Let's put that to rest, shall we?" She depressed the elevator lobby button and brought up her omni-tool's extranet browser. "Let's see if the search engines can generate anything useful. Hmm…I've hit several websites selling them. Crap, crap, hmm…nope, that's crap." Miranda quickly flicked her fingers across each webpage. "Ah, here we go. That's…interesting."

"What is?" Shepard shifted the plant to the left as if it were part of the conversation.

"Well, apparently, the Elcor rose is used in perfumes, is a gardening favorite, and is a psychotropic drug."

"What?" His voice rose up an octave.

"Indeed...Omnipedia notates it as being synonymous with the effects of ecstasy in the nightclub environment."

"Guess I could add the job of a mule to my resume. Wait, that sounded too coarse...how about a courier of depressant commodities?"

She made no reply as the lift reached their destination, and as if fate would have it, Garrus and Tali'Zorah were just there at the entrance. "Oh, Miranda, have you seen Shepard?" the turian inquired.

"You might be able to reach him behind the plant," Shepard replied but made no effort to try and reveal his face. "What's up, Garrus?"

"Well, we wanted to see how things went last night." The Aussie lifted up an eyebrow in his direction. The turian cleared his throat. "Er, I mean, with the animals. What happened?"

"They seem to be in a stasis. But, none of them have multiplied, that's for sure," she responded coolly and folded her arms across her chest. "We cut off the Normandy's oxygen to finish the job."

"Then I'll go aboard and make sure things will be back to normal by tomorrow evening," Tali suggested. "I took a couple of oxygen capsules with me before I left the Normandy, don't worry. I'll just attach them to my suit's secondary air filters."

"But-" Shepard began.

"And I'll take this," Garrus announced. He put his arms round the plant's base and gently tugged it away from Shepard's grip. "Don't worry. It'll be safe here in C-Sec. Chellick loves these things-wouldn't be surprised if he trimmed a leaf or two for himself."

"Detective Chellick? Really?" the quarian became perplexed. "He's a-"

"For medicinal purposes, of course," the turian announced with a grin and left with the plant before Shepard could add his two cents.

"No one's perfect," Miranda shrugged. "But that information is definitely worth remembering for a rainy day."

"I just hope it doesn't cloud up too soon," Shepard groaned and turned his attention to Tali'Zorah. "You give me a call the moment and I _mean_ the moment you have one lick of trouble. Thanks for doing this, Tali."

"Aye, aye, Captain." She saluted him and strolled into the elevator. "Everything's under control-don't worry."

"So, uh…shall we grab a transport to the wards for a hotel?" Shepard gave Miranda an uneasy glance. "Or…maybe you'd like to visit a spa…to unwind…relax…uh…rejuvenate…-"

"Are you trying to get rid of me?" She gave him an inquisitive eyebrow.

Before Shepard could answer, a rather familiar and exasperating human journalist waved her arm in the air at him. "Excuse me, Commander Shepard, could I have a moment with you, please?"

His teeth clamped themselves down together as he turned around. "Oh, the joys of being a celebrity," he mumbled. Miranda caught his lament and crossed her arms as she studied Khalisah Al-Jalani from head to toe. "Ms. Al-Jalani, how lovely to see you again," Shepard greeted her with a tiny forced smile and a nod.

"The pleasure is all mine, Commander, and it's nice that you remembered my name this time," the reporter stated with an artificial beam. "Mind if I ask you a few questions?"

"Are your ratings really that bad that you have to pester me every single time I turn around on the Citadel?"

"You're the hottest story around, Shepard." She activated her camera bot without another second to lose. Miranda was just about to walk out of the shot when Al-Jalani turned towards her. "What, may I ask, is a Cerberus operative doing with a highly decorated Alliance marine and Spectre?"

"We met on the transport on the way over. Nothing wrong with making small talk, is there?" the Aussie coolly responded.

"Not at all. May I ask your name, Miss-"

"No you may not," Shepard butted in. "If anyone's going to be harassed by you, it's going to be me." He gestured to himself with his thumb.

"You seem awfully quick to come to the rescue of a complete stranger, Shepard," she replied smugly. After observing that her causative comment had no reaction upon his face, she continued. "Sources claim that you've been spotted on Omega, home of the pirate queen and ruthless asari Aria t'Loak. Did you happen to speak to her or close any business deals?"

"It's hard not to pass up an opportunity to gain useful intel while there, so yes, I did pay her a visit."

"I see, and what did you do for her?"

"Sounds like you might have missed some news, Ms. Al-Jalani. There was a plague on Omega devastating all aliens a few months ago; I might have lent them a hand."

"Oh, I did hear about it, indeed, Commander, that's wonderful news. In fact, that's why I'm about to ask my next question. Your first ship, the Normandy, that was destroyed in battle, wasn't it?" She did not wait for him to answer. "And the current one you're commanding, was that a Cerberus logo on the hull that I noticed? Did they have something to do with your resurrection?"

"You've been busy," Miranda's fingers tapped steadily on her forearm. "Denying your canny observations would be asinine." The reporter was about to open her mouth again to speak when Miranda uncrossed her arms and continued. "However, this vid footage is no longer beneficial to Shepard nor myself."

"What do you-"

Without another second to spare, she activated her omni-tool and fired an EMP into the camera bot. It dropped immediately on the tiled ground and broke into several pieces. "You slutty bitch! You'll pay for that!" Al-Jalani yelled as she bent down to examine it.

Shepard chuckled lightly and shook his head. "This calls for a celebratory drink. Would you permit me, Mademoiselle?"

As soon as they were out of earshot, Miranda leaned over to whisper in his ear. "Your pick-up lines are getting worse and worse, Commander."

"But you've been to a spa before, right?"

She sighed and made direct eye contact with him. "Shepard, regardless of my upbringing, there is a woman under here…" she pointed towards herself.

"I wasn't doubting that-"

"That has been to a spa before," Miranda finished. "And yes, I went voluntarily and rather did enjoy myself. I've got some errands to run here as I'm sure have you. You wouldn't mind if I found a place for us to stay, would you?"

"Yeah, sounds like a great idea. Send me a message when you do, love."

"But of course I will…nothing but the best for us." She gave his hand a squeeze, and with that, she hopped on a nearby transport.

* * *

*Author's Notes*-My thanks be to the artist who spent hours designing my cover art, Kellysmygirl. Please be so kind to leave a review if you enjoyed yourself.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

Normandy SR-2 ECR, 2185, 1609h

"Wonderful. That simulation turned out better than I expected," Tali'Zorah exclaimed while she jumped up and down jovially a few times. She typed in some more commands via the holographic keyboard, which caused EDI's blue matrix interface to pop up next to her.

"The Chekhov factor's parameters will ensure a twenty-five percent fuel efficiency rate if you utilize it in this same equation, Engineer Tali'Zorah," EDI suggested. "It will also facilitate for a smaller margin of error upon Helmsman Moreau's navigational maneuvers as well."

"But I like to give the Normandy a substantial allowance; by entering the Chekhov factor into the equation, it causes more stress on our aft thrusters. Sometimes fuel efficiency has to take a lower priority, EDI."

"Why is that?"

"Well, the Normandy can fuel up just about anywhere in the galaxy. Getting spare parts for her is a bit more tricky. Since she was built somewhere in space by an autonomous human rogue agency, I can't exactly go to just any salvage shop asking for Kennedy gaskets or a reverse Serling gyroscopic azo-pod. Thankfully, the Normandy is relatively new."

"Affirmative, Engineer Tali'Zorah. My servers and software were also custom-built. Ms Lawson admits that she has the same challenge." The AI paused for a moment. "Are there any repairs that you have made to the Normandy without the proper spare parts?"

"Oh, just about all the time. Last week, when the garbage compressor lost power, it was due to a blockage. Daniels had to scale the compacter to get it out. After we restored the power, we found a leak. I went in this time and discovered that it was hydraulic fluid. Of course we had practically none left onboard, and welding the leak shut would have taken another six hours. I had another solution that involved some liquid silicon and a synthetic resin, but Donnelly and Daniels had a better idea. Although I'll admit that it immediately disgusted me, I know that humans can have their ingenious moments like we quarians. So…the garbage compressor's hydraulic chamber is currently being held together with three pieces of chewing gum. As soon as Daniels and Donnelly come back onboard with the resin, they'll get to work on it right away."

"Chewing gum? Is there an application in the quarian culture for it?"

"The idea repulsed me only after I found out what it was," Tali shook her head 'no' and leaned her hands against her console. "So, I guess that would be a no, EDI."

"Does Shepard need to know about this malfunction?"

"When my commanding officer has the ultimate fate of the galaxy hanging in the balance on top of his shoulders, I try not to be negative. It tends to ruin his day."

"Is this information that I should not store in my servers?"

"Delete it faster than one of those vids I keep catching Donnelly downloading while he's on the clock," Tali replied with a digested tone and kept shaking her head. "One woman is enough, but two…ugh..!"

"Since the Normandy's drive core computer has been restored to full functionality, would you like to restore all connections to the extranet?" EDI inquired.

"Of course! And…why would they need to be restored?"

"My operating system unfortunately requires an extranet system check before any data can be streamed to or from the Normandy, and I have detected that the extranet has not been reconnected. Commander Shepard correctly rebooted all of the Normandy's systems except this one."

"And that task would involve precisely what?"

"Restarting each wireless network router individually in a specific order, then ensure that each MAC address is correct, then reboot each haptic interface hub, next interface the REMA 5 connectors into the-"

"Hold on a minute. Just how much longer is this list?" Tali wondered.

"There are approximately twenty more components to this operation."

"Oh, Keelah, " she sighed to herself. "And I suppose all communications go through the extranet, even the suit radios?"

"Negative, Engineer Tali'Zorah, the radio communications go through another wavelength. However, to get the transmitter working, there is a twelve step process that must be initiated by-"

"I get it," she responded impatiently with a sigh and ran a hand across her upper chest.

"Your vital signs are registering a spike in blood pressure and your glands are producing an extraneous amount of perspiration, Engineer Tali'Zorah. The temperature in the ECR is twenty-three degrees Celsius. Would you like me to execute a musical playlist to reduce your stress level?"

The quarian cursed in her own language underneath her breath. "I wish that I'd purchased that prototype air conditioning filter back when we were on Illium. Now…where was I… should I be starting this in the AI core, or does it matter which wireless router is turned on first?"

"You are correct, Engineer Tali'Zorah. I have two lists from which you can choose the music, although one is has slightly faster tempos and likely to increase stress because of the aeolian scales that run through it. Do you prefer acoustic musical instruments, voice, or electronic instruments?"

"Does it matter?" Tali glanced upward as she made her way towards the elevator.

"The first list includes mostly electronic instruments with only a 15%-"

"Play the other one, then." The AI wasted no further time and let the first track roll throughout the ship's PA system. A human male's sweet tone sent her skin into goosebumps as he poured forth compliments and words of love. "Got anything less depressing?" she sighed as she entered the AI core.

"I am perplexed, Engineer Tali'Zorah. Why do you find songs about love depressing?"

The quarian sighed. "Normally, I don't. It's just that…it's coming from a male human, and...I'd rather not discuss it any further, EDI."

"Understood. Very well, I will play the next one."

The next track blared forth a full chorale of bagpipes.

"Do humans find this relaxing?" the quarian winced.

"Music is meant to be relaxing to organic beings, I believe."

"Yeah, well, it isn't working, at least with this song." Tali opened one of the server's modules to her left. "And I think silence is my best option for now, EDI, unless I make a connection error." The music immediately stopped as she disconnected some cables from the unit.

* * *

The Upper Wards, Chímaira, 2185, 1846h

The only words that Shepard could think of at the present moment to describe the opulent hotel suite that Miranda procured for them were extremely simple: "overdrawn bank account". Shepard's eyes roamed around the cathedral ceiling, burgundy curtains that were no doubt made of the finest hand-woven asari silk, and lavender sofas with golden seams that were designed to emulate the human baroque period.

A salarian valet carefully but quickly slid Shepard's valise into the corner of the suite's foyer. He turned to Shepard. "Any other wishes to subsidize your stay, sir?"

The interior designer who worked on this layout probably made more during a day than he did in an entire week, but there was absolutely no questioning this person's talent. He or she certainly did earn it, right down to the last decimal place.

Years ago when Shepard visited Vancouver on Earth to receive an award for his actions during the Skyllian Blitz and his promotion, he took some time to visit the city as a tourist. He went for a walk one day to ponder the general direction of his life as well as a unique offer that a Cerberus recruiting agent gave him. The metropolis had many visually pleasing gardens, parks, skyscrapers, and stunning fountains. It was at one of these fountains in particular, at Queen Elizabeth Park, where he stopped to inspect a dazzling assortment of fish. The array of vivid colors slowed down his anxious pulse as the sunlight reflected from their diversely bright bodies. No two of them were perfectly alike.

Some footsteps behind him on the sidewalk distracted his eyes from the aquatic life; a batarian and an asari wandered up the path arm in arm to also marvel the display. He immediately became suspicious when he noticed them; there was no such thing as a friendly batarian. Neither alien spoke loudly, which caused Shepard a minute amount of alarm. Up until this point, when he heard a batarian's volume decrease, he knew that trouble would not be far behind. To mask his instincts, he folded his hands behind his back and curled one fist into his palm. Much to his surprise, the couple remained civil. The batarian even whispered a few sentences into the asari's "ear", and she even rewarded her bond mate with a kiss on his cheek. _I don't know what ideals these people stands for, but I know what mine are._ That very moment made Shepard dig into his pocket and tear up the card that he was given.

Shepard's mind traveled back to the present and let his mouth fell partly agape with awe. He certainly valued aesthetics and had an appreciative eye for resplendent architecture, but there was no way that he would have been able to afford this. His parents hammered the concept of earning a hard-earned credit into his young impressionable mind from a very early age as opposed to spending one.

The salarian's curt voice interrupted Shepard's visual tour. "Excuse me…Commander Shepard?"

"I think I might be in the wrong room here."

"No, sir. There is no mistake."

Shepard set his teeth.

_I'm gonna have to start liquidating some assets soon. It'll be worth it, though. There are few things that actually bring her some comfort in the difficult life she's had. Luxury is one of them…my presence…is another…I hope._

His introspection came to a dead stop when he noticed the salarian's hands begin to fidget restlessly. "Uh, yeah, actually…would you mind getting some kind of bottle of-"

The alien signaled the ex-Alliance soldier's attention to the open balcony. A bucket that barely was sweating with condensation sat in a stand filled with some sort of alcoholic beverage, but Shepard couldn't identify it. "Oh, well, never mind." He rubbed the back of his neck. He also swore that he could also smell a pleasant fragrance in the air; could it have been one of those of bath oils?

"Properly sized wine glasses are in the fridge chilling for the Riesling." The valet next pointed his thumb to his left. "Will there be anything else, sir?"

Shepard stopped his previous actions, fished out a chit from his pocket, and started to hand it to the salarian until he shook his head 'no'. "Not necessary, sir."

"But aren't I supposed to tip you for-"

"Consider the account imputed."

_That's a relief to know that I won't be going broke…at least for the rest of this month. The damage to the Dark Star came to a grand total of 75 thousand credits…I should have known better than to trust Jacob's judgment about numbers._

"Oh, uh, well…thank you. Do you know who uh…footed the bill, so to speak?"

The salarian snapped his fingers and activated his omni-tool. "If you'd like, sir, I can forward this message to the business center. The sender cannot be identified with a valid email address, but hopefully, this will give you a clue."

"Um, sure. Where is this "business center?" Is it downstairs in the lobby?"

"Roughly fifty meters from where you stand, sir. It's fully equipped to suit your every need." He motioned his thumb to the right. "Now if there's nothing else, sir, good day to you." The salarian made a hasty exit.

Shepard was torn with indecision. He was really curious about his benefactor but had a sneaking suspicion that he already knew the person's identity. On the other hand, the enticing scent that sweetly assaulted his nostrils before came back this time to gently beckon him down the hallway and investigate it. A third problem was that his stomach now greatly bothered him; he had eaten a very small lunch. Replenishing that energy would be extremely pragmatic. Maybe the refrigerator would have some food in it.

He shuffled over to the kitchen and found nothing but the wine glasses as he opened the door to it. Disappointment ripped through his digestive organ. _Damn. A roast beef submarine sandwich with horseradish and cheddar cheese would have really hit the spot. One thing at a time, I guess._

Completely forgetting about the open refrigerator door, Shepard's unfocused mind leapt to the next question he had. He decided to fire a shot in the dark and called out to her in a loud voice, "Miranda, are you busy, or can you come out here for a minute?"

He was answered with silence. Five seconds later, he inquired if she heard him. A synthetic female voice warned him about the ajar door, and Shepard stepped backwards briefly to obey it as he began to sort out his thoughts. He again called her name but received no response.

_All right. She's got to be in that bathroom. I won't have one more second of peace if I don't feed my brain or the empty pit that is bellowing angrily at me._

Shepard followed the flowery trail through the living room and smiled when he noticed that there was steam escaping from the jacuzzi instead of the bathroom. The fragrance now directly and obtrusively invaded his nasal cavity. _She did this on purpose…damn it, you conniving…-_

"I ordered some room service just a few minutes ago for the both of us," her light Aussie accent announced. "Thought you might be hungry."

_That's a mild understatement. I'm about ready to gnaw off one of my own damned legs_, he impatiently thought. "Why didn't you answer me before?"

"I didn't hear you, Shepard. The jets are relatively loud in here."

_That'd better not be a lie. _"Forget about it." He shook his head. "What did you order?"

"Well, if I remember this correctly, I was told by a certain commander to be impulsive..."

Shepard's forehead wrinkled. "About food?" He slid the door across its track after taking a few cautionary steps inside. "When did I say that?"

A sea of foamy rose bubbles completely surrounded her body sans her head and neck. Miranda flashed him a closed mouth smile but raised only one side of her mouth.

_I knew it-she's got something up her…-_

She interrupted his internal monologue by removing both of her arms from the water and lifting herself onto a higher step in the jacuzzi. Miranda exposed her alabaster shoulders; neither had a stitch of clothing covering them, and he felt his blood pressure make a sharp incline. "Don't worry, Shepard, it'll be something quite edible. Now, the Riesling wine that valet brought has probably reached a good temperature by now. Bring it in with you when you come back here, would you?"

Shepard's eyes narrowed petulantly, and he crossed his arms. "Don't you dare order me around."

The seductive tone she had been using disappeared immediately as did her smirk. Her eyes widened and her mouth opened slightly in shock. About three seconds later, she found her voice and resumed her previous cool mask. "Someone's mood has certainly taken a dive."

She made a move to arise, but he held up his hand and kicked off his shoes. "We'll drink it later." Shepard's bellicose expression disappeared but stayed somber. "Forgive my snippy comment…it was very uncalled for. I'm not angry with you in the least. Admiral Hackett sent me a message this afternoon. It was about what happened on Aratoht."

"Shepard, if you don't mind my asking…-" Miranda's eyes shifted to the floor. "I'd like to know what went on down there. I know you couldn't talk about the transmission when you were…when _we_ still belonged to Cerberus, but I knew something was wrong when you got back." She softly bit down on her bottom lip as she put her thoughts together. "All that you told me was that you had to do a favor for him."

Shepard continued to disrobe until he was down to his boxers. He hooked his thumb underneath the waistband on one side of them and exposed some of his flesh to show her a scar. Miranda's vision was absolutely perfect, but she motioned her fingers towards him to come closer so that she could inspect it. This time, he did as she silently asked, and she examined the stitching job that Dr. Chakwas had done. "How deep was the knife?"

"Probably about ten centimeters. I charged into one of the batarian guards and didn't notice that he had a knife until it sliced through my barriers as well as my armor," he explained.

"It's healing nicely." She traced the wound lightly with her index finger. He squirmed and seized the back of her hand roughly. A tiny gasp escaped her lips with his action, and it wasn't until he began to caress each finger tenderly that she exhaled again.

Approximately ten seconds later, Shepard released her, shoved his boxers off, and climbed into the jacuzzi. "You know, this goes against every masculine fiber in my body…"

"I should know. I rebuilt all of them," Miranda remarked with a laugh.

_Yet you still followed her into the tub with the pink bubbles, moron. _

He briefly joined her mirth until he remembered that he was supposed to be recollecting his mission. "So, where were we? Uh…well after Hawthorne dropped me off in the LZ, I made my way into one of those bunkers." _And doing that didn't bring back any warm fuzzy feelings from the '78 op, either._

"After doing some house cleaning, I got to Dr. Kenson, released her, and we fought our way out of that hell hole." Shepard paused to clear his throat. "She told me why the batarians nabbed her; it was because she found evidence that the Reapers were going to be arriving soon…much sooner than I had thought. Then she planned to ram an asteroid into the Alpha relay to stop them."

_I wonder what other options the Alliance considered…if any_, Miranda thought. She pushed the topic aside; what mattered now were the serious consequences for humanity if any of the other alien spaces were to learn the truth about this. "So Hackett sent you in to circumvent the political backlash that he would have received for deploying a special unit there?"

Shepard shrugged and moved closer to her. "That's one interpretation, but I doubt his intention was to make me into the Alliance's scapegoat. He's gonna feel a lot more heat from everybody now, including the Prime Minister and the rest of the Parliament."

_That's nothing compared to the weight of the criminal charges that the Alliance will try to heap on you. It's just too damned convenient for him._

Miranda continued her query. "Did your admiral tell you how he came to know this Dr. Kenson?"

"No, neither of them stated how they came to know one another." He slid an arm around her shoulders to draw her closer to himself, and she nestled her cheek on one of them. _It's also really none of my business._

"Kenson told me about a Reaper artifact that she came across with a research team several months ago while we were traveling out of Aratoht's orbit. I told her my concerns about indoctrination, and she assured me that the artifact was being carefully handled. I know Reaper tech is usually built to last for eons, but something didn't seem right about the whole ordeal. Going to Arcturus Station without a scrap of proof of this would have been a crazy idea. The Council wouldn't believe me about the Reapers for the past two and a half years because I couldn't give them anything besides my testimony, but…I…I hoped that if I could record something with my omni-tool or…-"

Miranda extracted herself from his embrace and nudged his legs gently apart so that she could sit in between them. "Please go on, Shepard."

"What's wrong?"

"My neck started to get a bloody crick."

"Oh, well, allow me to fix that for ya." His hands came up from the water and squeezed her muscles affectionately in a circular motion. She hummed in pleasure and leaned forward. Seconds later, she decided to plant her posterior firmly against his nether regions and gradually shift her weight from side to side. Shepard growled contentedly as he felt himself harden. "Can I insert a disclaimer here should you decide to escalate things even more, Miss Lawson?"

"Did you think that I was going to sit back and let you have all the fun by yourself, Commander?"

"Hell, no, I know better than to argue with you about that," he replied with a brief chuckle.

"Good. Mmm…could you shift to your left, please? Yes, that's the spot right…ah..."

"So I went with Kenson to the asteroid. After she took me inside to take a look at the artifact, reality slapped me in the face like a bad hangover. The damned artifact hadn't been shielded at all, and her entire staff indoctrinated. It hit me with a very powerful blast and showed me what…it showed me what would happen to Earth." He clenched his teeth when he thought of the devastation that was on the way for the galaxy. _The Hegemony is probably going to start firing at anything that comes even remotely close to one of their systems. They might even directly order their ships into our orbits. Who's to say that they won't make some sort of asteroid bomb and attempt the same thing to the Sol relay in retaliation?_

_ When the Reapers come, families are going to be torn away from one another. Communication in between relatives who were spread out across the countries will be cut off. Looting is gonna go rampant and people are gonna turn on one another in the street like wild animals. _ _And I won't be able to stop it. Not one damn thing._

She suddenly halted her seductive movements. "Shepard? Are you here with me?"

Shepard cleared his throat and continued his narrative. _"_Yeah, I am, Miranda. I fought off as many of 'em as I could, but they overwhelmed me eventually. Two days later, I woke up; they must have loaded me up with a ton of sedatives."

"That number is a bit of an exaggeration…but it's not far from your tolerance levels." She sighed as his fingers left her neck, and he wrapped his arms about her waist. "Did you…I asked EDI to contact you several times…-"

"So you were worried about me."

Her tone became slightly defensive but not acerbic. "It's hardly an illogical thought, Shepard."

One of Shepard's hands loosened from her waist and traveled downward to lightly brush against her hip. He danced his fingers delicately over the flesh there and was about to explore the inner part of her thigh until a very loud banging came to the suite's outer door. _Son of a bitch. If that isn't someone bringing food at the door, then…_

Miranda arose without a complaint from his embrace, exited the jacuzzi, and slid her arms through a scarlet translucent robe. She gave him a very quick wink before she left the room.

Shepard glanced around himself at the steamy chamber as the pressure from the jets soothingly beat against his back like the cadence of a drum line and sighed happily. The recessed luminaries' color temperature in the ceiling perfectly matched the room's neutral colors, and two pairs of cream Egyptian cotton towels filled a silver pewter rack on the floor. _I wonder whom Liara squeezed to get such a gorgeous place like this…if indeed it was her doing. Who the hell else would be able to…-_

"Shepard…" Miranda's voice practically sang to him from the doorway. She smiled as she took in the serene picture and let her eyes wander along his perfect Greek anatomy. When he didn't answer her, she used a louder voice. "Hey, Shepard…-"

His chestnut eyes snapped towards hers as he broke himself out of his reverie, and made a childish grin. "Sorry about that…" He got up from the jacuzzi, toweled himself off quickly, and put his boxers back on.

"Hmm…was it a lovely daydream?" Miranda interlaced her fingers with his, and they walked side by side toward the living room.

"Damn straight…you were in it."

"Was I wearing clothes?"

"With or without them, I saw a vision of loveliness in front of me. Why would anything else matter?" He lifted his fingers into the air with a flamboyant gesture.

She chortled out loud for a few precious seconds. "You sentimental ass, couldn't you just answer the question?"

He shrugged and gave her another impish smile; she led the both of them to the balcony with a completely set table. "So, what've we got for some chow?"

Miranda removed both covers from the serving platters. "Roasted Cornish hens with asparagus and Hollandaise sauce," she replied with pride.

He scooted back one of the chairs, waited until she sat down, and pushed it forward until she settled herself. "Thank you, Shepard. You're off the hook…for now."

Shepard peered suspiciously at the poultry as he joined her at the table. "Why're these so small? Is this some sort of Asari recipe?"

"Not that I've been informed." She removed the napkin ring and was about to place it into her lap until she remembered that there was something missing from their meal. "Nearly forgot the wine."

Shepard was about to spring up, but she stopped him with a gentle squeeze on his wrist. "I'll be right back, Shepard. Go ahead, I know you're starving," she told him and left the balcony.

As they ate, Shepard recapitulated the rest of the mission, and she silently listened to his narrative. Fifteen minutes later, he refilled their wine glasses. "So the current savior of the galaxy is not only the "Butcher of Torfan" but also the "Assassin of Aratoht". Hard to see if there's a way to balance out all the death I've caused." He shamefully sank his forehead into his right hand and leaned it on the arm of the chair. "Three hundred thousand people…I'm a war criminal now…-"

"Would we be here now together like this if you hadn't made the right choice?" Miranda prodded him.

"Of course not, but I didn't do it for-" he interrupted himself. _Yeah, who are you kidding…why lie about this to her? She is your priority. Admit it, you stupid bastard! You also saw her battered and hematic body in the vision Harbinger showed you._

Shepard took a drink from his glass and let the alcohol calm his nerves. "I-I care very much for you, Miranda…-I just wish that there could have been another way."

"I know. It couldn't have been easy." She nodded, finished her last bite of the meal, and gently set down the silverware on the plate. Miranda turned her gaze to the Presidium's artificial lighting that tried to simulate dusk. It didn't come close to one of St. Kilda's charming sunsets. "What happens now?"

"Hackett will be paying a visit to the Normandy tomorrow."

Her eyes returned to meet his. "Will he clap the irons on right there and take you straight to Earth for a court-martial?"

"I…I don't know." Shepard's eyes fell away, and the fork slipped out of his hand with a loud rattle on the plate. "I need…I need to know you're thinking. Please say something."

She dabbed at her mouth with the napkin and let it fall on the table.

"My opinion of those fools hasn't changed in the slightest. You did the right thing, Shepard, and it's preposterous that you should have to suffer at the Alliance's hands for it." Miranda stood and walked over to his chair. She leaned forward towards his lips, and he took her by surprise. He practically leapt out of his chair, seized her by the waist, and met her passion halfway. A short exhale burst from her nostrils, and she parted her lips to welcome his. Approximately one second later, one hand of hers began to cup his jaw, and the other wrapped itself around the back of his neck.

_I've never felt such a rush like this with any other woman in the galaxy. God has truly blessed me._

A pleasant but brief rumble in Shepard's throat escaped it as he increased his mouth's ferocious demand upon her lips. What had begun as a steady but gentle pace of coaxing and tugging turned into a frenzied battle for dominance. He broke away from her merely to gasp a few breaths, and she pulled him back merely a few moments later. His hands slid down to her hips while her lips enveloped quite a healthy portion of his lower lip. Moments later, his fingertips sailed across her derriere, and the action caused her to pry herself away from him to inhale very erratically at their electric touch. She returned to his mouth with a guttural moan and gave the upper portion a playful few nips with her teeth as well as her tongue.

An anxious thought suddenly occurred to him. _What if I never see her again? Ever?_

Shepard ceased all ministrations and forced himself to let go of her completely. He stepped back a few feet and trudged back inside of the hotel suite. _This isn't right. I can't just spend an evening of incredible passion with her and just leave her alone in the morning…I need her too much. And she needs to know that._

He leaned his elbows and bodyweight against the granite island countertop in the kitchen. Miranda studied his blank face for a moment as she tried to gauge his thoughts and followed him tout de suite. She stroked his left forearm a few times and placed her right hand on the back of his palm. The fabric of her garments gingerly glided across his skin. Shepard lazily flipped his hand over and started to rub his fingers across hers. "Want me to bring your belongings to you tomorrow morning before we go?" he finally asked and broke the silence.

"Thank you, Shepard, but no. I already cleaned everything out this afternoon."

His father's demoralizing voice ran his head._ Way to go, Ace. Think you're gonna leave her breathless with that?_

He bit down onto one of his knuckles and sighed angrily. "Miranda, I…-aw crimony…why does everything have to be so complicated? Can't you just stay with me until the-"

"The Alliance would lock me up faster than you can say the word "terrorist" or just shoot me without hesitation, Shepard, you know that." Her voice went to a whisper. "You know I'd rather be with you no matter what, but…-"

His fingers increased their pace. "Well, what if I were able to convince the Brass to give you some slack for giving up some dirt on-"

"Don't you think that Hackett will be more than a bit upset with you for what happened? You didn't pull the trigger on Kenson yourself, but he might be inclined to show some malice. I can't specifically say who she was to him, but I do know a bit about who he is."

He removed his hand from hers and made eye contact with her. "What do you mean, Miranda?"

"While I infiltrated some Alliance bases years ago, I came across some personnel files. The Brass had been considering Hackett for command of the 5th Fleet for three years before he finally accepted their offer."

"What made him take so long to do so?"

"He was trying to reconcile some rather tempestuous matters with his wife, who was in the process of divorcing him. She was an electrical engineer, and oddly enough, she never served with him. This Dr. Kenson, however, did."

Shepard straightened himself and folded his arms across his chest. "So they probably had a fling and the wife caught onto them."

Miranda nodded and leaned her elbow as well as her bodyweight against the countertop. "It's highly likely. So your admiral did not want to go live on the Citadel but rather try to work things out with his other half."

"Was reconciling things with his wife such a bad idea?"

"Well, as it turned out, she refused him in the end. I'm sure that caused a very large bruise to his ego, so he had her fired from the Alliance and blacklisted."

He shook his head incredulously. "He did what?"

She shrugged. "He had her fired from the Alliance and blacklisted. Fortunately, her story didn't have an unhappy end. She's currently working for Cerberus."

Shepard smiled and lifted his finger in the air slightly. "Ah, there's the _real_ connection. The details of the divorce wouldn't have been in those files. Did you hire her yourself?"

"No, but the point is, Shepard, Hackett could be spiteful. Perhaps he won't show an immediate reaction after hearing your testimony, but this accident could be something that he would not forget about. Just watch yourself when he comes to interrogate you tomorrow. I wouldn't reveal any more details than you wrote in your report."

"I won't. Trust me."

Miranda reached out to grasp his bicep gingerly and squeeze it as she came closer to his body. Her touch fell into a rhythmic pattern. "Shepard. One of the things I appreciate about you is your passion, but you can be a little overprotective of your ego sometimes."

"It won't get the better of me, I promise you. He'll be a useful ally throughout this whole process…as will Anderson."

She nodded and gave him a fleeting smile. "Thank you." Her fingertips danced over his arm. "I don't suppose there's anything I could say or do to change your mind from throwing yourself to the wolves."

He shook his head 'no'. "It's the right thing. Running away would look worse. I'm not innocent of the blood that was spilled."

"Better a few hundred thousand than several billion lives, Shepard." Miranda's eyes left his, reclaimed her hand, and moistened her lips as she glanced away. Her usual stoic manner melted away into a melancholic expression. "Damn it, just when I've found someone who…who makes me feel…alive…"

Shepard grabbed her hand back and ran his hands against her palm in between his own. "Did you say something about passion, Miss Lawson?"

"Perhaps. And…for tonight, please feel free to…release it how you see fit." Her other hand suddenly dropped down to his abdomen to tickle her fingers just above his boxers. Miranda's head tilted downward to glance at him. She closed her eyes and leaned her head backward slightly. "Or did I speak out of turn, Commander?"

He lunged for her neck and sank his teeth directly into it.

"Hmm…I had a feeling that it would appear sometime tonight," she remarked coolly. Her hands left his waist, and her arms instantly clung to his shoulders. Despite her frosty comment, Miranda's body temperature skyrocketed. When Shepard felt this, he dragged his moist mouth languidly all over her skin and returned his hands back to her hips.

_I don't know what the hell I'm gonna do without her, but tonight…well…she won't forget it, that's for sure._

He separated himself from her just to gaze into her eyes. She gave him a very subtle nod in return, and he lifted her up from the floor. Her legs enveloped his torso for support as he carried her back towards the master bedroom.

* * *

**Author's Notes: Despite the frigid temperatures going on around the U.S., perhaps this will give those who are suffering from it a bit of warmth. The concept of Kenson and Hackett knowing one another as more than friends is more than plausible but not necessarily canon. Someone asked for a scene like this a while ago, and honoring this person's request is the least I could do to bring in 2014.**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

Citadel Docking Bay #16, outside the Normandy SR-2, 2185, (The next day) 1702h

"Garrus, I could be wrong, but wasn't this thing a little bit taller when we gave it to Detective Chellick?" Shepard inquired as they stepped off of the lift.

"I told you he might trim a few leaves off, didn't I?" Vakarian shrugged.

"Garrus, this thing was three feet taller when I brought it to you yesterday!"

"Cast your worries aside, Commander. The _cannabis_ will grow back to its previous height once able to inhabit artificial conditions aboard the Normandy," Mordin chirped positively. He stood outside the Normandy's gangway along with the majority of the remaining squad members. "Engineer Tali'Zorah's report very auspicious."

"You planning on calling the rest of the crew back as well?" Taylor pressed as he departed the elevator. "No sense in wasting time waiting for those things to wake back up and take over the ship again. Permission to speak freely, sir?"

"Granted, although I have a gut feeling I know what you're gonna say already," Shepard chuckled.

"Yes, sir, I say we give these vermin a one way trip out the airlock."

"Shepard…err…Commander…is this completely necessary? I mean, the zalawas haven't exactly proven to be a threat to anyone," Yeoman Chambers stated and briefly touched her superior on the shoulder.

"Try catching a forty winks when they drop on your head every fuckin' fifteen seconds, sweetie," Jack said and shoved her backward.

"The medical bay needs to be completely sterile. I'm afraid that I cannot sanction keeping these creatures aboard the Normandy, even though I do value life, Commander," Dr. Chakwas stated.

"Actually, they were burrowing into the capacitors and gnawing on the drive core conduits. So now we have even _more_ repairs to make," Engineer Daniels groaned.

"Or try to make a meal for the crew of this ship when they pop out of every crevice in the galley!" Gardner growled. "They belong anywhere but here, Chambers."

"Hmph," Grunt spoke up. "They'd still make excellent skewers, smoked or barbecued-hasn't anyone else tried these things?"

"Sorry, Kelly, but I'm afraid that the majority rules this time, and I can't ask everyone else to sacrifice their sanity for the sake of one person's feelings," Shepard told her and shook his head. He spun around when he heard more crew members queue up outside of the Normandy. "Is there anyone here who would prefer for me to _not _expel the zalawas from the ship?" He directed his question to all present in a louder voice.

Yeoman Chambers hopelessly gazed upon her fellow ship mates, who all had negative body language and frowns upon their faces. "All right, Commander, do what you must…I understand," her lips quivered and tears began to form in her eyes. Shepard stroked her arm gently and gave it a quick pat before he touched his earlobe to activate his radio. "Tali, we've got some cleanup to do with the zalawas. Give the crew about an hour or so to round 'em all up, then let's purge the Normandy of the little buggers."

"Understood, Commander," the quarian responded. "The drive core computer has been fully restored, but of course, we won't know if it works until Joker pulls off an FTL jump. I've done all that I can."

Joker sighed gleefully and marched up to the airlock. "Anybody up for a game of chicken with a turian frigate?"

"Pardon me for asking, but what is a game of chicken?" Garrus directed his question to Shepard as they watched the crew members slowly file down the gangway back onto the Normandy. "And what is a chicken?"

"Come on up to the bridge and you'll see," the pilot grinned.

"Try it, and I'm ripping out the leather from your seat," Shepard barked.

"Aw, Commander, I've gotta be able to see if my baby's back up to speed."

"You used to have a mute button up there in the cockpit for turning off EDI, didn't you?"

The pilot's head snapped back in his superior's direction. "Why are you using the past tense? Do you really feel comfortable letting me take the helm if I can't concentrate?"

"Apparently, EDI's manipulation results in better performance results from you, so, maybe you might not have 100% control of the mute button."

"Did you get up on the wrong side of the bed or something?"

Shepard crossed his arms and shook his head. "Relax, Joker, I was only kidding. But no chicken near the Citadel or any other major port."

"Yes, sir, understood," Joker stated and gave him a salute with a grin. "When do you want to leave the Citadel?"

"All aboard is in ten minutes. I'll be the last one in as usual." After he departed Shepard's and Garrus' presence, the turian faced his friend.

"Is it my imagination, or have we lost a few fellow crew members?" He paused before continuing. "Like Miranda, Zaeed, and Kasumi?"

"What would you think of Jacob becoming our new XO, at least until I have to turn myself in to the Alliance?"

"New XO? Wait, why would you have to give yourself up to the Alliance?"

"Blowing up a mass relay tends to be a bit illegal…in this galaxy, anyhow," Shepard shrugged and ushered his friend into the airlock.

"I was wondering why you went down to Aratoht all by yourself without you to pull your ass outta there. What in the names of the spirits happened?"

"Let's have a drink upstairs in my quarters after we take off-we'll talk about it then."

"Well, I've got some more calibrations-" the turian started to say, but as he noticed Shepard's eyes lower with disappointment, he stopped himself. "Those could wait, sure."

* * *

Half an hour later, in Shepard's quarters…

As Shepard cracked open a bottle of Alexander Keith's ale for himself, he placed one of a Turian hard liquor called 'Fire of Sparta' on the table. Although humans couldn't normally eat or drink the same things quarians and turians did, he considered trying a shot with Garrus tonight. "Oh ho, you remembered," the turian chuckled as he entered. His eyes immediately caught sight of the blue bottle.

"I love that your strongest liquor's named after the most feared warriors in Greek history. Did this brewery happen to start before or after we accidentally discovered the mass relay and had our first contact?" Shepard wondered as he took the cap off.

"Never really thought about it, Shepard. Some turians are snobby about the stuff they throw down their throats, but not this one," Garrus remarked and grinned as he pointed to himself. "As long as it burns and gives you visions of purple shathas, you're what's that saying…'right on the currency'?"

"The saying is 'right on the money." Shepard set the container down in front of Garrus and started to guzzle his beer. He paused for a moment. "Want the bottle or just a shot?"

"Whoa, slow down, Shepard." The turian watched his friend down the first of what would likely be many beer containers and poured himself a shot. Now he knew something was wrong. "Miranda won't be joining us, will she?"

"No…she won't." A pang of depression surged through his mind when he thought about the glorious evening that they had spent together. The next morning, they spoke quietly over an intimate breakfast about keeping in touch but realized that the Alliance would confiscate any sort of outside communication devices from him once they acquired the Normandy. With extremely heavy hearts, they parted from their last embrace and went on their separate ways. They made a promise to keep in touch after the invasion. Shepard knew that the Alliance would not be able to keep him locked up forever.

The former marine finished his first drink and began to down the next like there was no tomorrow. "Let's make a toast to our success so far, although it feels like I'm trying to swim upstream."

Garrus lifted his glass up, clinked it against Shepard's, and downed his shot. "Aw, man…feels like I got shot up by that damn gunship again, only this time in my throat!" He paused for a moment to recover, shook his head, and poured himself another. "By the way, how'd you like the hotel suite?"

Shepard spat some beer out of his mouth, and most of it landed on his fatigues. "_You_ were the one who set us up at that ritzy joint?"

"Well, it was a gift from the Normandy crew, actually. Liara contributed to it as well. She arranged for something…special to end up on your balcony…as well as an email meant for your eyes only."

_Of course she'd have been the one to see to something like that. I think it was even the same kind of wine we had when I took her out to-_

Garrus interrupted his thoughts when he merrily slammed the liquor bottle back down on the table. "And you're welcome, by the way."

"Garrus, I don't know what to say…I-"

The turian chuckled and crossed one leg on top of the other. "I think we did this all backwards. Should we start all over again?"

"No. Thank you…" He blinked hard and stared down at his beverage for a moment. "There really aren't words to describe what I'm feeling at the moment."

"I'm sure you'll find them when you're sober. Now…you said something about blowing up a mass relay? Is this a joke? Because I'm not seeing the humor."

Shepard's shoulders drooped. "I only wish I were joking. Remember last week when we were in the Viper nebula?"

"That Thanix cannon maintenance _really_ gets to me. So, if you don't add my name to the roster of victims…I mean squad-mates, it's back to the batteries for me."

"Too many aliens for ya?" Shepard started another drink and burped. "Whoops."

"Some of them are nice. I find Yeoman Chambers to be a bit invasive. She's a bit too friendly for me," Garrus replied with a shrug and also did another shot. "But I wouldn't mind seeing what Kasumi looks like without her hood; mysterious women make me a bit nervous."

"How so?"

"Guess it comes from working with C-Sec for all those years. People wearing hoods can rarely be trusted. But anyhow, what happened last week when we were in the Viper nebula?"

"Admiral Hackett called me for a favor to rescue a friend of his that got taken by some batarians. She was an Alliance scientist that had found a Reaper artifact."

"Uh-oh, I think I can see where this is going," Garrus remarked and face-palmed himself.

"Yeah...well, let's just say that Hackett's friend discovered this thing on an asteroid, gave it propulsion and lift, and sent it on a course to destroy this Alpha relay."

"But before she could get it into orbit, the Batarians got to her?"

"You're dead on, Garrus," Shepard nodded and continued to drink. He gave the rest of the account to him in the same way he did with Miranda. "By the time I got to the radio console to try and warn the system that their relay was about to blow, it was too late."

The turian blew out a whistle that reverberated all throughout the cabin. "Shit, Shepard…so you mean that…?"

"Yeah." The commander made eye contact with his friend briefly and let his gaze shift down to the floor. "The Viper nebula and the Bahak system don't exist anymore. I killed 300,000 Batarians just so the Reapers couldn't come in the back door."

Garrus was so stunned that he couldn't speak for a while. Finally, after gaining the courage to do his next shot, he did so. "Well, I guess that your species owes you yet another medal. What's this make, number 26 for you?"

"A medal…" Shepard laughed derisively. "That'll be the day."

"And I thought _I _was the one who was the pessimist onboard," the turian commented sardonically and pointed to himself with his thumb. "But I can see how this certainly makes human relations even worse with the batarians. Hell, to tell you the truth, I can't recall one species that actually had a _good_ relationship with 'em even before the First Contact War." He hesitated before he spoke again. "So, Jacob's going to be our next XO? Did Miranda leave us to go back to Cerberus?"

"Yes and no," Shepard responded and resumed eye contact with his friend. "I'm considering it, since he showed so much potential for leadership while I was missing in action, and also in the Collector base. However, I wanted to get a few perspectives on the idea first, and your opinion carries as much weight as mine. To answer the second question, that's the 'no'; Miranda resigned. She and I both decided that her staying on the Normandy would undermine any kind of work that she could do to further our cause against the Reapers."

"Work? That's being a bit vague." Garrus's mandibles twitched suspiciously. "Are you positive that she quit?"

"Let's put it this way, Garrus; she cut the Illusive Man off in the middle of one of his "Cerberus is humanity" bullshit lectures and handed me the bomb herself." Shepard picked up another bottle and caught Garrus shaking his head. "Wish you could've been there to see that moment, but I needed you to look out for everyone else. It took me completely by surprise, too, since she never mentioned that she had any doubts about Cerberus previously."

"Nobody but you could make that woman do a one-eighty. And I guess that makes sense as to why she stayed here after we blew that place to kingdom come. If you say you can trust her, then that's good enough for me, Shepard. You can tell me to butt out…but I noticed a certain quarian engineer wandering around the crew mess just before we went through the Omega 4 relay. She wasn't really interested in eating, from what I saw."

"Oh…that…" The former Alliance marine stroked his chin nervously. "Well, it wasn't really my idea to be there…"

"But you had reach and she had flexibility?"

"Garrus, you dirty rascal…" Shepard laughed and covered his mouth as he burped again. "That reminds me to give you her parting gift…" He stood and traveled over to his desk to pick up an OSD.

"I don't care how much either of us have had to drink, Shepard, I'm not kissing you."

"Very funny." Shepard strolled down the steps and tossed the disk to the turian. "It's some brand new software for calibrating the Thanix. That should give you a little more free time."

"I wouldn't kiss her, either," he spat. Then he softened his tone a bit. "But…when you two talk again, you might mention that I'm grateful to her."

"Hmm, is it possible that you might accept the two of us now?"

"Since we're getting everything out now, I might as well tell you that that recon scout I was telling you about, Sheena…she wasn't my first. And she sure as hell won't be my last." Garrus threw another shot down his throat. "There wasn't one position we didn't try that night." Ignoring the burning pain in his gullet, he continued. "So…who was better?"

"Better?"

"C'mon, Shepard, you had to know somebody was gonna ask you. Which woman topped the other one?"

"May I remind you that what we say in here does NOT leave this cabin."

"You got it."

"I mean it. Even if Joker tries to persuade or manipulate you into anything…"

"Turians don't generally make vows while drinking because those can only lead to pure stupidity later on, but since you're a human," Garrus sighed, "I promise."

"That's all I'm asking, buddy. That melding thing…the union…Liara blew my mind-guess you could say almost literally. Amazing. I saw nothing but the cosmos, her thoughts, and mine. Every single bit of my nerve endings were standing on end from point A to point B. It was phenomenal, and I don't regret a single minute of it."

"So she was better than Miranda?"

"No, not by a long shot. I'm saying that Liara was unique. Miranda was equally as wonderful...never really thought about using biotics in the act until she came along."

"You didn't use them with Liara?"

"Are you kidding? That was her first time! I mean, I'm sure she could've handled it, but…well…using them didn't feel right," Shepard shrugged. "I'll still kill anyone who messes with Liara, but, no one compares to Miranda. I love her."

"And how about the uh…place where the spices in your kitchen go? I forget the human slang term."

_Yeah, we're not going there, Garrus._ _I'm not that tanked. _The human soldier gave him a giddy smile and shook his head 'no'.

"Hope I find Mrs. Vakarian soon. This up and coming war scares the living shit outta me, who knows what'll happen to us all?" Garrus did another shot.

"Pour me one, too, Garrus."

"Don't say I didn't warn you about the stomach cramps you're gonna get later on…-" the turian slurred and gave a slight hiccup.

"Yes, mommy." Ten seconds later, Shepard lifted the glass and made another toast. "To all those battles we've yet to fight, let's stick close by to one another. I've got your six, even if it is ugly!"

Garrus gave him a light jab in the arm for his remark and got up to look out of the window above them. "Shepard, do you see what I see? Those aren't purple shathas floating by us."

The commander's eyes clamped shut momentarily as the turian hard liquor hit him. "Damn, that stuff stings." He regained his senses and joined his friend's gaze. A huge ball of fur and fluff traveled by the Normandy. "Must be the last of the zalawas," he yawned and cracked his knuckles one by one. "So, Garrus, what do you think about Jacob?"

"Hmm…I can't think of a reason to say no." The turian scratched at his head fringe. "You know what's _really_ surprised me, Shepard?"

"What's that?"

"Jack's still here. I thought for sure that she'd be off at the first major port we came to after we beat the Collectors."

"She came to some terms with her past. Caught her in a mean game of go-fish with Tali once in the mess."

"No kidding?"

"Yeah, but she'd say 'go fuck yourself' instead," Shepard chortled. "I'm not sure how long the game lasted after they both saw me." He paused to turn and face Garrus. "She'll split soon enough after I surrender to the Alliance. I don't expect you to stay, either. You do have your own troubles to worry about. And I think I'll ask Wrex if he's ready to take Grunt back into his clan on Tuchanka. He's probably had enough of us all, anyway, from how he's been acting lately."

"Just when is this submission gonna happen?"

Shepard shrugged. "Not long. I wanna make sure that the Normandy is ready for combat against the Reapers." His gaze caught Garrus' hands as they sneaked around the bottle of turian liquor again.

"Don't think we'll _ever_ be ready, Shepard. But you know I'm here for you."

"See, aren't you glad you didn't have to mire yourself up in those calibrations for one night?"

The turian laughed. "You're the only human I know that could con a turian from working himself to death to having a good time. Want another shot?"

"Count me in for one last one, Garrus."

* * *

Just outside the Widow relay…

"Captain? I've detected a problem in our cannon," a turian gunnery chief reported on his suit radio. "The images coming from my thermal cameras suggest it might be some kind of debris since the readings are blue."

"Those damned freighter captains know better than to dump their waste right by the relay," the commanding officer replied and climbed up the ramp to the navigational map. "The fines for doing that are astronomical."

"Yes, sir. What are your orders?"

The turian captain folded his arms behind his back as he pondered his subordinate's query. "This will have to wait until we get back to Palaven. We're due for some maintenance there. I've already wasted enough time on the Citadel."

"Noted, sir. Wait, there's some movement!"

"Are you suggesting that this debris could actually be a life form?"

"Captain, sir?" another turian's voice broke over the radio. "We've got some unusual activity occurring in our drive core. Should we keep charging to make the FTL jump or halt?"

"Oh, for the spirits' sake," the turian muttered to himself. He touched his earpiece to reconnect his radio. "We've already plotted for the jump. Keep it going. We'll worry about it afterward."

"Affirmative, Captain. What the-" the engineer started to say. As he accidentally left his channel open, the turian commander heard several pops of fizzling electricity, followed by several expletives, and finally, one nearly deafening rumble. "Uh, sir? I'm afraid that we won't be able to make that FTL jump through the relay. We just lost about ten capacitors, and as another one of my colleagues was attempting to refill the eezo tank, it exploded. Orders, sir?"

"Was anyone hurt?"

"Two motormen are on their way up to the infirmary with some burns."

The captain clenched his teeth and grunted. "We've got no choice. Rebalance your power grid so we can dock." He switched his radio to the navigational communication channel. "Rubellius, make a hard turn to starboard and bring us back to the Citadel. We apparently cannot make FTL jumps."

THE END

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

I know that Shepard supposedly spent six months incarcerated before the Reaper invasion, but I figured that I had to give him one last go after such a serious mission (Arrival DLC). You probably will hear squad mates talk about the repercussions of Shepard's actions, but you never hear any actual judgment from them. So the least I could do was to include both Garrus and Miranda's opinions on the mission. I also thought that it was appropriate to point out a major plot hole in ME2 if you brought Miranda with you and decided to blow the Collector base up. She made these random judgments; ones you _never_ hear anything about when you talk to her, even when you bring her with you on the derelict Reaper. It was a ton of fun to refine this take on "Trouble With Tribbles", and I hope everyone enjoyed it reading it as much as I did writing it. Thank you to everyone who has done so-feedback is greatly appreciated.


End file.
